A Beautiful Reflection From Firework Eyes

Don't Ruin A Perfect Thing

"You kissed him?" Alex screams.

"Yeah," I mutter. "I didn't mean to. I just got kinda caught up."

"Oh my god, Vic!" Alex jumps up and down. "I knew it!"

"Shut up," I bury my head in my hands. "I hate you so much."

"How'd he react?" Alex asks eagerly

"I don't know," I sigh. "I didn't wait to see it."

"Why not?" Alex looks confused. "Did he push you away or something?"

"No. He kissed me back."

"Then what's wrong?" Jack cuts in.

"I feel like I was pressuring him or something. I don't know, he told me not to, and I did anyway. I'm a terrible person, aren't I?" I throw my hands up angrily.

"Vic, you're not a terrible person," Alex says. "You're beating yourself up over nothing. Just talk to him, okay? You don't know what he thinks."

"I think I'm just gonna die from embarrassment," I mutter. "I wish I didn't do anything. I'm such an idiot."

"You're not an idiot for being in love," Alex says. "We all do stupid things for love."

"How stupid though?" I mope.

"I think you're overreacting," Jack says. I make a face at him, but he doesn't let me speak.

"Alex was especially idiotic when he was trying to win me over."

"Was not," Alex protests.

"You know he tried to fly?" Jack laughs. "When he didn't have like any control over his powers."

"Oh my god, what happened?" I can't help but smile at the thought of Alex levitating in the air.

"He fell and twisted his ankle," Jack says. "Not to mention he got caught by the guards and got sent to the Dark Room." I shudder at the mention of the Dark Room, but I'm laughing with Jack.

"I can do it now," Alex complains. "It was just one time!" He spreads his arm, lifting a few inches off the ground. "See?"

"You just look stupid," Jack says.

"Not as stupid as you," Alex shoots back as he settles down comfortably on the ground.

"Hey!" Jack throws a pillow at Alex, who holds out a hand, stopping the pillow in midair before hurling it back at Jack.

I lean back, watching them with a smile plastered to my face as they throw pillows back and forth, trying to get me to join in. They somehow always manage to cheer me up, even when I'm feeling terrible. But that's what friends are for, aren't they?

---

It's strange, waking up in my bed without Kellin next to me. I try not to feel bothered by it, but there's a strange emptiness in my heart. Gods, I'm falling hard for this boy, aren't I?

Things are quite awkward between the two of us. I keep my distance from him, avoiding his gaze for the whole day. I can't look at him, in fear I'll see a look of disgust or fear on his face. He doesn't talk to me either, so we stay that way, in heavy silence as we wait for the guards to take us to Study.

I probably do terribly. I can't think of anything but Kellin during the Study. What if he actually hates me? I overstepped—I shouldn't have. Guilt hangs like a stone in my stomach, weighing me down. Mr. Styles shakes his head at me as I leave the room, but I don't care. I just let the guard lead me back to my room, turning my thoughts over and over again in my mind. What if Kellin never speaks to me again? Oh, that would be terribly awkward. I really think I'd just move in with Jack and Alex, no matter how stupid of an idea that would be.

Kellin's already sitting on his bed when I walk in. I avoid looking at him, heading straight to my bed, but he stops me.

"Vic, can we talk?" Kellin asks, his voice soft.

I let out my breath slowly. "Yeah, sure." I still can't face him.

"About yesterday," he hesitates.

"I'm sorry," I cut in. "I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have."

"No," Kellin says. "I—uh, I was okay with it."

I finally look at him, surprised. "Really?"

He nods, looking embarrassed. "I'm just not—ready or anything like that."

"Yeah, that's fine," I say quickly. "I didn't mean anything by it—I just kinda got carried away." I cringe at my own lie, knowing how bad it is. If Jack or Alex were here, they'd slap me. I kind of want to slap myself actually. The words are on the tip of my tongue. I like you, Kellin. I really really like you. But I hold them in.

"Oh, okay," Kellin says, but he almost looks disappointed, as if he expected me to say something else. He looks like he's about to say something, but he changes his mind. "So, friends again?"

"Yeah," I smile at him. "Friends." If only he knew how much I wanted us to be more than that.