Vulnerable || myg ✓

20 🥀 secrets

CHAPTER TWENTY: SECRETS

⚠️Mentions of Suicide⚠️ Please refrain from reading the triggering content if you are uncomfortable. 🥀

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I would tell you all my secrets, wrap your arms around my weakness

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You lie on your bed replaying the events of yesterday, it’s like a very cruel nightmare.

You always believed that love exists in the world but only some lucky enough people are bound to find it. When you met Yoongi, you saw it in his eyes. That sparkle, that beautiful look he gave you when he confessed to you, and when he asked you to marry him.

It was like a dream come true. You were happy. 

But why did your heart race when you were with Jimin in the hospital room, why did you lean in to kiss him in the first place. 

You knew your urge was far more than pecking his forehead.

If you’d not seen Yoongi from the corner of your eye you wouldn’t have stopped.

Was it a key to revenge? No, because you know he’s not with Chaeyoung, Suga is. Your Yoongi would never even have to look at another woman other than you.

You sit up suddenly when you hear the front door being opened. The clinking of the keys sets your heartbeat to escalate.

You are ready to forgive Yoongi, but not just yet.

You pick yourself up and dash towards the bathroom. Setting the shower on, you don’t get inside it. 

You hear the bedroom door close cuing that Yoongi is present at the moment in the room. You try to hear something but instead you hear grunts of someone. 

What is happening?

You stop pacing in the bathroom and put your ear close to the bathroom door to hear something.

Anything.

Then you hear a low grunt again. 

You hear something break.

Is this Suga? You ask yourself.

If it is then you need answers from him.

It’s best to face him instead if Yoongi, atleast for now.

Unsure you close the shower and immediately open the door just to witness your sister under Suga, from the angles it looks like she’s getting attacked, this scene triggers a memory within you causing your vision to turn blurry and you feel your anxiety kicking in.

It’s like the scene is repeating in front of you.

You see it again Chaeyoung struggling underneath his grip whereas he’s trying to take control. 

If it triggers you then what about Chaeyoung? It must be so traumatic to experience this again after 11 years.

You lose it, this time you muster all the energy in you and pull him back so hard that he’s now lying on the bed. You pull Chaeyoung away from the bed and literally throw yourself on Suga.

Just like some crazy person throwing himself into the swimming pool.

He’s caught up in surprise by the sudden movements but you know what you’re doing.

So you punch him. 

Not once not twice.

Again and again. 

Till he starts bleeding.

No, it’s not your anger, it’s the anxiety taking the best of you. You’re full on crying.

Seeing blood on your knuckles you stop not knowing whose blood it is, his or yours, maybe both, 

Suga breathes in the first time since your fist disconnected his jaw leaving bruises and a busted lip. “Fucking bitch.” he mutters.

You wipe your tears and raise your fist to punch again when Suga flips you on the bed so he’s on top of you.

“What is your problem?” he says 

“No. What is your problem? ” you shout back. “I mean why in the world do you hate me?” you ask.

He stands up from the bed. “No reason.” he mutters.

“What a joke.” you say. “You know you’re a joke right now Suga.” 

He turns back to you. “You know everyone hates someone without a reason.”

“You’re crazy there must be a reason.” you say slowly.

“No there isn’t, I simply hate you.” he states.

Now it’s anger taking in you, rushing through your veins. 

You take hold of his collar harshly and demand. “I fucking need an explanation.” you say gritting your teeth hard. 

He throws you on the floor and starts shouting “you need a fucking explanation? Let me tell you, I hate you because you were responsible for my parent’s death, your father killed my parents in front of me, and I’m here in the first place because of you. I thought I could destroy you but no Yoongi fell in love with you that caused me to become superior because I want things my way!” he screamed.

What he said slowly registered in your mind and you started chuckling darkly.

“How dare you?” you scream back. You were caught in the middle of the events of your past and present. All of them standing right in front of you.

Is this why Suga hates you? He doesn’t even know the truth. Fuck it, he doesn’t even know you.

“You think I made your life miserable? You know anything? ha.” you look everywhere with anger and tears filling your eyes. “Did you know this then? I k-killed our father because he abused us both physically a-and s-sexually.” you close your eyes.

“That day.” you take a deep breathe. “He was drunk and was abusing Chae, I knew he had a gun beneath the mattress, I grabbed it and shot him twice. Chae ran to the police but I ran away. They found me unconscious on the streets. We grew up from the horrors of our father and don’t you say I did anything to you when my life was a fucking nightmare for me!” you screamed each word at him.

Suga stood there with hair covering his surprised eyes. He took a step towards you but you stepped back.

“You fucking want me out of your life, alright.” you say and start walking towards the main door and out of his life forever this time.

You run, you know exactly where you’re going. To the rooftop. To end this terrible nightmare. If Suga wants you dead then be it. 

It was wrong, terribly wrong that he assumed you were the cause of the death of his parents. You felt agony, anger and every emotion build up in you that you just wanted to disappear. And you knew this was the only way left.

Without Yoongi living would be impossible so let’s get rid of this feeling.

You reached the rooftop, the cold night breeze of Seoul kissed your face softly. This breeze was something you’ll die in. you weren’t at ease, it made you at ease.

You find a ladder and climb up to the fence of the rooftop.

Stepping on the thick wall, you once again relive all the events of your life. You can’t wait for the night mare to get over. 

Now you’re ready. 

Ready to step off and enter the afterlife.

That would be peaceful, wouldn’t it?

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