Vulnerable || myg ✓

19 🥀 know it

CHAPTER NINETEEN: KNOW IT

Third person POV:

Yoongi left the room, not bearing to see another of those Jimin/Y/N moments. The thing which was bothering him wasn't seeing you peck Jimin's forehead or whispering to him. He never doubted your love for him, and he knew you drew a line between you and Jimin, that line indicating 'close friends'.

What bothered him was the voice in his head.

Telling him what kind of person you were, calling you names of slut and whore. This Suga wasn't stopping spilling venomous words for you.

Yoongi wanted to give up. He was so mad at his alter saying disgusting things towards you. He in fact doesn't even know the reason why he hates you so much.

How did his alter form?

Amongst the midst of his chaotic mind, he harshly bumped into his psychiatrist.

What a small world.

"Oh sorry-Yoongi? Is that you?" she asks surprised.

He gives up and breaks down in front of her.

He cries screaming about everything, the people passing by giving him either weird or sympathetic looks but he doesn't care he continue crying on the ground.

Ms. Lee clearly distressed in her patients condition bends downs quickly and tells me some soothing words to calm him down.

And so he does.

With the help of a nurse they both walk to her office. Yoongi takes a seat on a couch whilst the doctor sits on a chair across him.

"Yoongi, are you a right?" she inquires gently making him start crying again.

The only words that come out of his mouth was "I'm tired of this."

The doctor did her best to console him. "Look Yoongi, you need to speak to me about it. I'm sure I can help like I always do. We can talk." she gives him an approachable look.

Yoongi wipes his tears with his sleeves and looks upto her. Ms. Lee grabs a bottle of water and passes it to Yoongi.

After calming down and taking small sips of water, he looks onto her.

"I slept with Chaeyoung again." he says looking down feeling the wall of guilt crashing down in him.

"And your girlfriend saw you?" she asks making him nod in shame. "It's okay Yoongi, it wasn't you, it was your alter, Suga." she says.

"But this is my body, I feel so disgusted. I don't think I can even face her with this face of mine." he says with remorse.

"Look Yoongi, it's up to you if you want to feel guilty about it or not. Don't stress yourself over what Suga does to a level which causes disorientation in your brain again. We don't want the situation to worsen do we?" she says ever so gently.

"Fuck," he breathes out. "I wish my damn parents weren't killed that fucking night and I never saw it and never felt that anxiety again." he says annoyed pulling out his hair is further frustration.

"You still feel anxious about it?" she asks making him nod his head slowly. "Tell me about it."

Yoongi takes a large swig of water before taking a deep breath he speaks up. "That night when my parents were murdered, I saw it all with my own eyes. I remember that man telling my parents he'd kill me too. He didn't know I was hiding under the bed that time. My dad was literally sliced open in front of me. My mother's rape was something I can't unsee. And the thought of those mother motherfuckers coming after me haunts me still."

"Do you hallucinate about them?"

"Yes. Sometimes when I am half sleepy I just find these figures lurking around searching for something or someone in the closet, in the bathroom, everywhere."

"Didn't they check under the bed?"

"No they didn't."

"Don't you think that's a good thing?"

"Huh?"

"You see hallucinations of those men searching for you almost everywhere but you don't see them looking below the bed do you?"

"No not even once."

"That clearly means that they don't will never find you Yoongi, they just haunt you because you feel and think they'll come get you but in reality I'm sure they don't even know about your existence." she says.

Yoongi interprets her words very carefully thinking, slowly understanding and nodding to himself.

"I know it might have been a nightmare to go through seeing your parents die in the worst scenarios and I think Suga is the alter that hates everyone because he thinks everyone is like the men who killed your parents. Suga is scared of people bring close to him like when you are with Y/N, he's somewhat annoyed that he lets you trust her. I'm conclusion the whole fact can be summed up as Suga being aggressive towards people who you're close with because he's still angry on the men who did it. And he doesn't trust anyone." she concludes.

"Remember you were admitted to the hospital the other day because you were cut open? I didn't get a proper answer to what was that from?" she pries further.

This particular question triggers Suga and outta nowhere he appears taking over Yoongi just like that.

"That's none of your business." he spits out angrily.

Now the doctor easily figures out that she's speaking with Suga.

"You went out to kill them didn't you?" She further questions.

Suga grits his teeth together in a harsh manner.

"Tell me the truth Suga, I'm just asking you."

"Yes I killed his men." he says anger raging through his veins. His eyes were on fire and anyone who sees him in this stare right now would wanna get up and runaway but the doctor stays calm and collected.

"How'd you get stabbed then?"

"The rapist." he said. "The one who killed my dad was his brother, he saw me cutting his brother down and he pulled me off of him and stabbed me pulling the knife down over my stomach." he answers truthfully.

Instead of acknowledging the fact that he murdered someone just as how his father was murdered the doctor questions him on other important parts.

"As for the rapist, did he escape?"

"Yes he did, but I'll find him soon."

"Then what would you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Suga you know you're an alter of Yoongi, you aren't real, just another version of him. You were born because of his constant anxiety and hatred for those men. But when your work is done what'd would you do?"

"I'll go to Chaeyoung."

"Chaeyoung hmm, I see. But she's Y/N's sister right? Why her and why not Y/N?"

"Because I don't trust her?"

"And why is that?"

"I feel like she was involved in the murdering of my parents."

The doctor pauses then speaks up again. "Well if you calculate the years going back, she was an infant that year, how'd she plan the killing of your parents?"

"I don't know that but she did it."

"You just putting all your anger on her. Don't do it." she says gently making him sigh.

"So when are you planning to kill this rapist?" the doctor asks making Suga smirk.

"When I lay my eyes on that bastard."

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ALOT of shits gonna happen Get ready.