"Everyone on the ground! This is a robbery!" Yelled Roy.
"And he's an invincible gay-robot, so we're not playing around!" added Lawg. Roy took off his mask and looked annoyed at him.
"Do you have to announce my sexuality with every opportunity? Never just Roy the cool guy, or Roy: the badass robot. Just being a robot is the entire intimidation point. Why is my sexuality relevant in a stick-up?"
"Depends on who you're sticking up, and where." guessed Lawg.
"I remember why I hate you ever time you speak." Roy sighed, returning to the crowd. "But he's right, I'm a badass robot who doesn't take shit from anyone, so listen up people and nobody dies." he yelled. Lawg nudged him and leaned in close.
"I feel like we should be saying the F word a lot more. It sounds more badass in an action scene."
"Sometimes it does." Roy whispered back. "But if you overuse it, it loses it's meaning. It's not dramatic and funny if you drop it every other word. You have to be dramatic and convincing without the profanity, then when you need it to go to 11, you drop the f-bomb. You gotta save them up." Roy whispered. And Greg usually get's there first, so it's ruined.
"Yea but we already got away with nudity and butthole implications, I feel like this needs a lot of profanity." Lawg insisted.
"Lawg, what if things get even more badass, like a helicopter fight scene? Then you can have an extra flying-one to give, okay?"
"Why can't I give a flying eff right now?" he asked.
"Shut up, Lawg." he sighed, grabbing the manager and shoving him to the access code panel.
"Why are you doing this?" asked the terrified clerk, as Lawg pushed the civilians out of the exit, securing it with a crowbar.
"You won't believe me when I say this...but I'm a robot from the future, and we need your cooperation to save the human race." Roy said, donning his sunglasses.
"You're right...I don't believe it." he admitted.
"Lawg...this man needs a demonstration, get my combat knife." Roy smirked. He held out his hand and Lawg hopped up, burying the knife in his forearm. Roy turned, looking shocked and offended.
"Lawg, what the hell?" he shouted.
"I thought you were wanting me to stab you, prove you are a robot?" he defended.
"WHY!?" he asked, slapping him angrily. "I'm not armored, you turd, you could have damaged my wiring. I wanted you to HAND me the knife, I was gonna bend it with my robot strength, why the hell would you just stab someone on assumption? Get over here you little shit." he grumbled, chasing Lawg around the computer desk and trying to slap the crap out of him.
"Are they always like this?" asked the owner, looking over at Bonner.
"I'm new to the whole thing, but so far yea, pretty much. He's a robot, and that guy is just an idiot. Both from the future I think."
Lawg perked up as a police megaphone got their attention.
"Cops." Lawg gasped.
"Don't worry, I'll handle them." Roy smiled, grabbing the belt-fed machinegun.
"Don't kill anyone, Roy. They're just people doing their job...unless it Rayth, obviously kill her as much as you can. Lots and lots of killing."
YOU ARE READING
Dipshits in Space: Season 6
Science Fiction...you even reading these things still? I mean at this point if you liked the other 5, you're gonna like this one, and if you didn't like the first 5, then why are you here? This is just silly. I don't have to tell you this season has the greatest r...
