"Lawg, I need this vacation time. I may kill you in your sleep if you push me." Roy said, dramatically crossing his arms.
"What is this?" Lawg asked, trying to read the brochure.
"...Gay robot stuff. you wouldn't understand."
"No...no I would not. You are entirely correct." he said handing him his stamped vacation pass.
"Can we have some time off, too?" asked Marley.
"Absolutely." Lawg nodded.
"Really? That was almost too easy." Mar sighed.
"Because you are going to spy on Roy."
"Aaaand there it is." He huffed, sitting down.
"You're mission, should you choose to mandatorily accept it...and you will...is to find out what Roy is planning. He's been acting weird lately, suspicious. He WAS a spy after all, so he can't be trusted. He's also the only military trained crewman who can shrug off a bullet, so we can't just fire him or he could become gruntled and wad me into a ball, pitch me out an airlock like he keeps saying."
"He's acting weird...like weird for a sexually frustrated multiple-personality harboring, emotionally fragile, dancing fight-bot?" Marley asked.
"Well when you say it like that he's actually doing pretty good keeping it passive, but still. He seems a bit too chummy with Greg, who we all know is bad news. He's hiding things in his locker and changing the number so I can't check it. There is something going on and you're mission is to find out."
"Frrrrick..." Marley sighed.
"Where the hell have you been?" asked Izzy as Greg failed to sneak in.
"Went for coffee." he shrugged.
"You've been gone 72 hours and came back with no coffee."
"Didn't say I was bringing coffee back." he cringed.
"Greg, what coffee place did you go to?" she asked, crossing her arms.
"Small place you probably never heard of. Great coffee, but they're going out of business pretty soon."
"How soon?" she asked.
"Bout 12 hours ago I think."
"You went to the Wang Coffee planet and murdered all of them, didn't you?" she asked.
"Maybe not all of them, just the ones I could find. It's a big planet. There could be survivors." he technicalitied.
"Greg I told you not to murder planets without asking me."
"The planet is fine...not so much with the Wang family or the coffee shop. Someone burned that place pretty bad before I even got there. But the planet and most of the wildlife will live on. Planetarily speaking, what I did was barely a footnote. No biggie, slaughtered bout 16 or 17 green aliens nobody will notice...or ever find again." he said, suppressing his belch. "And if there's no body, there's no crime."
"Greg it's sweet, but you don't have to avenge me every time I get into trouble."
"I was already I the neighborhood getting coffee."
"Because you went there, intending to get coffee, specifically so you could say you were getting coffee, and then as a side-trip you just wiped out the last of a species."
YOU ARE READING
Dipshits in Space: Season 6
Science Fiction...you even reading these things still? I mean at this point if you liked the other 5, you're gonna like this one, and if you didn't like the first 5, then why are you here? This is just silly. I don't have to tell you this season has the greatest r...
