46- Get Out of My Head

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Your POV

"I- I..."

My mind is running at a million thoughts a minute yet at the same time I can't form a single thought. I don't know what to say, or feel for that matter.

Do I trust him?

He seems so sincere.

I look down at our conjoined hands. A million feelings burst forth just by looking at this simple act. The feel of his hand in mine opens the floodgates of all the memories we had together.

My heart aches for the past, but my mind tells me I may never get that back.

I take a deep breath and look up to meet Alastor's gaze.

"I can't forgive you. Not yet at least. It still hurts and this pain is not something that will just go away. This will take time and I'm willing to give you that time. But the past is the past and we're never getting that back."

I grip his hand a little tighter, my gaze drops. Alastor doesn't say anything so I continue.

"Sometimes we just need to move on. If you want to just move on and pretend nothing ever happened between us then walk away now. But if you are telling the truth, know that my forgiveness and my trust you have badly damaged, earning them back will take time. I need to know that you're willing to take that time to fix your own mistakes."

Before Alastor can respond, a familiar hostile voice hisses in my mind.

You're weak. Useless. You're better off alone.

Stop. Enough! Enough of this! All of it! I don't need you making my decisions for me!

You seem to forget who made you stronger. I'm stronger than you!

No you're not!

Wanna test that theory?

My head suddenly feels like it's being split in half. I feel as if I'm being pushed to the back of my mind while my shadow takes control.

I stumble back and grip my head in pain. I let out a whimper mixed with a groan. My heart feels like it's being constricted. It's getting physically harder to breathe.

"(Y/N)!"

I hear Alastor call my name but is sounds muffled, as if my head is under water.

Why are you doing this!

For your own good.

Get out of my head!

Not until I finish what we started!

Flashes of images fill my mind. Alastor cold and motionless on the ground at my feet. My hands coated with his blood.

No.

I don't want that anymore!

Impossible. You will always want this and you know it. This is what you crave.

It's not.

Are you sure?

"Get out of my head!" I shout. I don't even feel the energy pulsing around me. At one moment I closed my eyes, yet I don't remember doing it.

"(Y/N)!"

I hear a voice call my name but it's to muffled and distorted to tell who's voice.

You don't need them. You don't need any of them. You're stronger alone.

You're wrong.

I'm never wrong.

You wrong about this I know you are.

Open your eyes and see for yourself.

See what?

But my shadow doesn't respond. Slowly I open my eyes but I'm not greeted with the familiar streets of Hell, instead it's just dark. A singular beacon of light comes from an unknown source above me.

"Hello?" I call out. My voice echos throughout the darkness, bouncing off unseen walls and ringing back in my ears.

Sensing a presence behind me I turn around. My shadow stands there, but instead of the normal shadowy silhouette there are more details. It's almost like looking in a mirror.

"Where are we?" I ask.

Your mind. Where did you think we were?

"Why did you bring me here?" I demand.

Bring you? I didn't bring you anywhere. We're in your mind.

"Where are the others?"

My shadow scratches its chin in thought. If I had to guess... probably fighting to survive.

"What!"

You see you're unintentionally making it very hard for your friends to continue living.

"You're lying!"

What could I possibly gain by lying to you? Don't believe me... take a look.

My shadow points to my left I turn to look. I feel slightly light headed before I'm viewing myself and the destroyed street of Hell.

I look at myself. Energy pulses and swirls dangerously around me. My skin has veins of black snaking along my face and arms. My eyes a closed tightly as if in pain. Blood drips down my clenched fists from how hard my claws are digging into them.

I see my friends huddled behind a chunk of cement trying to take shelter from the harsh winds and powerful energy.

You're doing this.

"No."

But you are. Don't you love it? The amount of power. You could rival the king himself.

"I need to stop this."

Stop? Oh dear, there's no stopping this. Not until he's dead.

Oh look at that he's making it easier for us.

I look back and see Alastor making his way towards me.

What are you doing! You'll get hurt!

My shadow laughs.

I can't believe you still care.

"Maybe love makes you weak." I turn towards my shadow. "But I am stronger than you'll ever know."

White energy pulses around me. I focus it into a stream and direct it towards my shadow. Chains of white spring out of the ground and wrap around it. My shadow struggles but it is useless.

In a blinding flash the room turns bright white. I close my eyes against the light and my head spins. When I open them again I'm standing in the street of Hell, surrounded by destruction.

Then I blackout.

-•*•-
Date- 9-18-2020
Words- 953

I didn't really have a direction for this chapter. Just kind of sat down and wrote. I guess I'm kind of happy with how it turned out. I had the first half planned out but the second half was just winging it.

Oh well I hope you enjoyed. I will get another chapter out soon I promise.

Cya~

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