You can learn to love• Kyman love story•(completed)

Jew party

The stupid bitch known more commonly as "my mom" did a bunch of research on Jewish culture last night, and now she and Kyle dumb mom have thrown her a big Jew party. Well, Sheila called it a "Simchat Bat", but I like "Jew party" better. Kyle woke me up this morning by kicking me in the head and ordering me to get ready like a parents yelling at his kid. I was just gonna show up in my casual clothes, but my mom stopped by and gave me a brown suit to wear. Now I'm standing in Kyle bathroom, half naked, and about to explode with anger.

When I finally get the dumb suit on, Kyle knocks on the door and tells me to get my ass downstairs. I don't think I even want to leave this bathroom. I can already tell that this party is gonna suck.

When I leave the bathroom, Kyle grabs my wrist and pulls me downstairs. He's wearing a matching brown suit, and his hair is slicked back, though nobody can really tell. He still has that dumb hat on. The only reason I can tell is because his hair poked out a little in the back. As we near the living room, I can hear what sounds like singing, but like not singing. Like, there's no words or anything. Or maybe there is words, but they're just in Hebrew or something. When we reach the living room, Kyle let's go on my wrist, and I feel a bit disappointed from the loss of contact, but I shake this feeling for now and focus on what's going on. The guy who gave Ike a circumcision is here, I think he's called a "Rabbi". Ikes sitting on my couch, and he looks really annoyed. Almost half as annoyed as me. Examining the room more, I see a lot of Kyle's family and friends, which is odd, but I guess these Jews got greedy. Stan and Kenny are also here, along with their parents. They spot us and walk towards us.

"Hey dudes. Congrats on the new sister Cartman." Stan says. I just groan in response. I'm still not used to the idea of me having a sister.

"Yeah, being a brother is the best thing there is dude. Trust me, one day you'll love that kid like nothing else." Kenny assures me. Jesus, he sounds just like Kyle. You'd think after knowing me, they'd at least consider that I might just kick the kid out the second I get a chance. I should get to plotting that soon. A while later, everyone turns to the doorway, and my mom walks in with Kyles mom and the kid. She's wearing a silky blue dress, and looks almost pretty. Not her usual whorish pretty, but actually pretty. 

"Welcome everyone, to this wonderful occasion, where we shall celebrate the coming of Lianes new baby with prayers, readings, immersing her in a mini-mikveh and much more. We welcome the Rabbi, and all of Lianes friends and family here today."  Kyles mom announces. As my mom walks towards us with the baby, everyone is saying something, I'm not sure what. I can tell from Stan and Kenny's faces that they don't know either, but when my mom gets to us, Kyle says it with ease.

"Brucha ha-ba'ah b'shem Adonai" He says. I need to take a mental note to look that up later, or ask him about it. It could be some evil spell they're granting on this kid so she grows up the Jewyest Jew of them all. My mom grins at Kyle, and takes a seat on the sofa behind us.

"Eric, would you like to see your sister?"

"Ugh, no thanks!"

I shoved my hands in my pockets,and pushed past everyone to get to the kitchen. I can tell Kyles following me, so I turn to meet his eyes when we're far enough from the crowd.

"What the fuck is your problem Kahl?" I spit.

"Me?! What's up with you? That's your sister Cartman and-"

"Jesus Christ! Shut up Kahl! You think I don't know that already? That's why I'm trying to stay away from her. I want nothing to do with her, or this retarded party!"

Kyle sighs, and leans against the counter, thinking of how to respond. If I'm correct, he's gonna say some well thought-out speech about how I'm a big brother, and I have a responsibility as one or something gay like that.