Twit Talker (One Direction save a life story)

shower, onesie pj's, talkin to Louis, whats wrong, how do you deal with it all

I’m gonna go take a shower and take a nap alright wake me if you need anything alright love you,I said kissing Louis’s cheek and then skipping up stairs with my backpack.I quickly unpacked it’s contents again.Earlier I was reckless I wasn’t thinking straight about what I was doing mostly I was just a little jealous.I never wanted to leave them and I never would.I grabbed a set of onesie pajamas and I stepped into the bathroom to shower.I came back out and Louis was standing in the doorway.

Hey Louis is something wrong is anyone hurt cause I can be dressed in double time,I said ready to leap at a moments notice.

No everyone’s fine love nothing wrong I just came to talk if you were alright with that,Louis said taking a step or two inside.I nodded my head and I went and laid in my bunk sitting up so Louis could sit at the foot.

So what’s up, I asked in an attempt to start up this conversation.

Nothing but Julia can I ask you something baby,Louis asked biting the edge of his lip.I smiled.

Yeah ask me anything Louis,I said leaning back into the pillows behind me.He nodded almost like he was then pondering over what to ask first.

*sighs* I just how do you do it child I just don’t get it at times,he said shaking his head.I cocked my head to side I was slightly confused.

What do you mean Louis how do I do what,I said.I heard him chuckle.

What I mean is how do you how do live with what you know what has happened to you how do you push on without wanting to just scream,he said.I smiled he wanted to know how I lived with myself.

You want to know how I live with myself well it’s not easy literally I just push on I sometimes lock myself up in a room where I have to put up with myself to try and pushed past what has happened but sometimes I just like crash and burn with every attempt I make I lose it and I lose everything, because the problem is you can’t escape from your own mind,I said.It pained me to have to explain this to him I felt that I was making his life worse.He didn’t need this at all he didn’t need me to worry about.I eventually just got up and I started pacing around not knowing what else to do.I could feel Louis just staring me down wondering what I was doing.I just was flustered really flustered by everything.