Barely floating

Chapter 6: More Tangled

Isabella's POV:  'Habromania' ha? Well, that's a pretty precise of way of describing one's life and in fact it's a beautiful way to untangle and comprehend the mess that this four letter word  'Life' is, it's delusion of happiness. 

I keep the phone back in my bag as I realize that I had been sitting on this bench in the exact same position for the past hour or so, scrolling up and down the message, forcing my brain to articulate one complete though which would finally untangle my life but then as I keep my tangled earphones back in the bag, I know the next time I would get it out, it would just become more tangled just like my life.

It's annoying how people can just describe their whole life just by one word where I can't make sense of things even with a whole essay but I guess it's good for them and the human who wrote this and now that makes me remember something I totally forgot to check, who wrote this? I scrolled up to check the fake name it was written under to find out that the user who wrote this has the same fake name as mine which is "Strawberry Iced latte" well that's funny and ironical.

It's like we are the two sides of the same coin, we have the same favorite drink from Lily's hub, the cafe down the street, this person lives in a clear delusional while I live in the messy reality and both of us don't even know what to do with this information. 

And now as I try to focus on the notes written on the board I can feel that it's pointless, I can't even try to focus as my head is spinning like a goddamn fidget spinner, so I try to focus on my breathing while our bio teacher continues to shout at the top of her lungs trying to tear down her vocal chords and our ear curtains.

Finally one torture chamber is over, I swear I would have gone deaf if I stayed in that class for one more second. One of my biggest problem is I have no control over mind whatsoever, once I start thinking about something I just can't seem to find the stop signal.

So the whole time our teacher screamed like a crow about god only knows what I was busy trying to make sense of what has happened in my life from the days I can remember in the foster care when I used to ask where my parents where, the little glimpses of my mother looking at me, then seeing Miss. Woods for the first time and later getting adopted by her to all those nights I have spent crying over the way my life was, I was and I am.

And finally concluding all these memories with a hole bunch of nothing as I have a deliema when in comes to forming conclusions, it's just not my thing I believe.

Even though I know thinking about it won't really solve my problems and this is probably the time I should become lazy and quit, my mind is not cooperating to the slightest bit and I don't even know what to do about it.

I wonder what the guy wearing the blue jacket who just went by is looking for or the blonde girl who looks as if she had been crying for a good time and  is stuffing some books in her locker thinking about or what's the story of that girl in my homeroom who has an arm filled with tattoos or what is the reason behind creating this world? See I told you, that's what I do when I want to get mind of one thing, I divert my mind towards many things. 

But now, the day is passing by and and everything around me looks like clouds floating in the sky.

Already two periods have passed which means school is almost over, so I head my way back to the lockers when I see someone quite unusual standing by on the other side, He is a guys who looks he might be a few years older than us with blue eyes, brown hair and a little stubble wearing a white polo shirt. But that's not the only thing that's making the spotlight fall on him, it's more of the way he is looking around in every direction while stomping his feet on the ground every second. Who is he looking for?