Moonlight - Logicality AU

Ch. 9

Logan's p.o.v.

I sat down at the counter and closed my eyes for a moment. I could lie and say it was only because I was exhausted from the walk. Which wasn't really true. I believe I just stood up to fast out of the bed and that's why I was dizzy at first. After a few steps I was completely fine and could walk on my own. 

Part of me hated getting help from Patton. First of all, I absolutely hate taking help from people. It makes me feel inferior. I don't want anyone getting the impression that I can't sustain myself, or that I'm weak. Given my circumstances, I may not be able to sustain myself and Roman, but I am certainly not weak. 

However, it felt nice to get help from Patton. To have my arm around him as we made the short walk downstairs. For a moment, I liked the feeling of just giving up control and relying on him. He supported me the entire time we walked, even when I put a bit of my weight on him. I could tell just by what I know about him that he doesn't think I'm weak. I know he'd do this for anyone. 

But..I also know that he's afraid of me. 

He was afraid when I yelled at him, when he opened the door to his house and our eyes met, when i woke up, and even when I saw him looking at me as we walked. There were a lot of emotions I couldn't read or understand, but I did see a hint of fear. Fear is the easiest emotion for me to identify. I've seen it on Roman's face and I believe I've even seen it on mine. 

I didn't want him to be afraid of me. That's the last thing I want in life. Unlike my father, I'd rather be respected than feared. For once, I decided to suck up my foolish pride. "Patton, I..I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for those horrible things I said to you. You were only trying to help Roman, and I understand that. I was just so terrified. I thought I lost him." 

Patton looked over to me, surprised that I had even mentioned the incident. He quickly smiled, however, and replied, "It's alright, Logan! You don't have to worry--" 

"No, it's not alright. I took out my useless emotions on you. That wasn't fair, and I apologize. It won't happen again." I reassured him. I didn't want him to accept my apology. I didn't deserve it. 

Nevertheless, Patton just smiled a warm, genuine smile, and walked over to me. He wrapped me in a big hug. Not knowing what to do, I didn't move my arms. I've hugged Roman plenty of times, but that's not the same. He's my little brother. This felt different. More..intimate. 

I loved and hated feeling this way simultaneously. 

Patton pulled away and walked towards the kitchen cabinet, opening it and taking out a box of tea bags and tissues. He slid the tissues over to me and proceeded to walk over to the stove, pouring the steaming water from the kettle into a light blue mug. He put the tea bag in and turned around. 

"How do you like your tea?" 

"No sugar or milk, thank you." I said. He nodded while grabbing the mug, and walked over to me. He gently placed the tea in front of me and smiled. I thanked him as he made his way back over to the kettle to make himself some tea. At least I thought he was making tea. He opened a drawer and puller out a hot chocolate packet. He poured the contents into a mug that said "Ask Me About My Dad Jokes" on the front. 

"I thought people only drank that during winter and the holidays." I said as I took a sip of the tea, welcoming the burning sensation. Patton giggled and added a mountain of whipped cream on top. 

"No way! I drink it all year long!" He said proudly as he took a large sip. When he looked back at me I couldn't help but laugh. He had a whipped cream mustache and there was also a good amount on his nose and cheeks. He didn't respond to my laughing, he just continued to drink it. Which, in turn, caused his face to get even messier.