Spotlight {Completed}

Chapter Thirty Three

The worst part about traveling is leaving.

We're almost back in the big apple and I'm pretty upset and feeling a sense of loss. Leaving California was like how I left the first time when my parents died and I was forced to pack up everything I knew and loved all into one suitcase.

Yesterday I caught up with Drew, excites that he'll be joining me in a couple of months. It's weird leaving because I feel as if I'm leaving things unfinished.

Such as the whole cheating thing, yeah, none of it has been discussed. That's much of a wimp I am. Also, ever since that night when Pres got back from his night with Scarlett, he's been acting as if I will just crumble right in front of him. It's weird, I feel as if he knows I cheated and is okay with that and is just anticipating the day I'll confront it. But that's the thing, I don't know how.

This is all too complicated and I don't deal well with complications. I crack, and I go a little insane.

Not mentally, but I get angry and frustrated at everything because I can't deal with it very reasonably.

I just wanna go back home, but then what? I don't have anything to go back to. I'm not in the "spotlight" anymore and I don't have school because oddly, Scarlett has decided to keep my place because she really enjoys it. I guess it makes her feel some sense of nostalgia or something. I don't really have much to go back to, I mean there's Pres... and My family and the few friends I have, (not that I'm complaining) it just feels like my days there will be sort of redundant.

"What are you thinking about?" Pres comes to my side after attending the bathroom and snuggles close to my side.

I stumble over my thoughts, "everything," I shrug. He laughs, probably assuming that I am just messing with him, but reality is, I'm not.

"Well once we get back, I'm gonna cook something good for you, so we can relax," I smile at him for being so thoughtful and sweet, "is there something you wanted to do?" I ponder over the thought as I look to Scar and Zach. We all decided to travel back together on Zach's plane.

That's sounds so surreal.

Oddly, Scar is staring right at me, but glances away. I frown at her sudden alienation from me.

"Just spend time with you," I smile and he kisses me lightly.

"I'd want nothing more, also," he takes my hand in his and squeezes tightly, "I'm glad I have you." I nod at him and try to smile as best as I could.

I'm not in love with Preston, and I'm pretty sure he knows that. But I owe it to him to at least try, I've been a terrible girlfriend. I've never had a serious relationship, so maybe part of it comes from me not even knowing how to be one.

And that I'm stupid to let my feelings overwhelm me.

* * *
Once I entered the warm café, I was extremely in need of a hazelnut latte and muffin. We landed about an hour ago, and everyone went their separate ways, without a goodbye, needless to say, it felt implied. It was as if, we felt we didn't need to state the obvious, or that no one really wanted to converse with each other.

I inhaled the fresh scent of what I have been in crave of and took it all in. I really need to get away from this town. I don't even know what I'm going to be doing now that I'm here. I could take some classes, maybe intern? I have a few designs I have been working on, and maybe interning could get me a few extra pointers on my resume. Back home, I would intern part time at the closest university. I received a couple of recommendations, and it helped extremely in getting into the school of my dreams. I'm sort of on the line of fashion design, and interior/graphics. I'm going to NYU to get my degree, and hopefully land me with a good job.