You Watching Me

In

After his drive, he went straight to his trailer. On the way from his car to the trailer, he couldn't stop thinking about the mess. Why can't I have a normal life with a woman I love? 

When he reached the area of all the trailers, he stopped walking when he saw a bright light from Ellen's trailer. He stopped not only walking, but also breathing. He watched the walls of her trailer as if he could see through them. She broke up with Chris because of you. All the reality of the past few weeks hit him hard and he didn't know what to do. He wanted to go to her and tell her everything and also he wanted to be alone to absorb all the information. He wanted to grab her hand while hiding his face in her hair. He wanted to go to the coast to watch the water come and go... Come and go...

"Sometimes you have to come for something you want and sometimes you need to let go something you don't want." He whispered while approaching Ellen's trailer. He was driven by some kind of power that only Ellen had over him. Her smile. Her eyes. Her laugh. 

He was there. He was in front of the door. In front of her door. He wasn't really sure of what he's going to do but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't help being far away from her. But then he remembered that she doesn't want him. It was like a punch in his face, like a knife into his stomach. All the beautiful feelings flew away in a second and saddness washed all over his face and went straight to his heart. Suddenly, he felt pain.

He sat down on the stairs and sighed. He put his face in his hands.

"Oh dear..." he half whispered and looked up at the stars. And that was the moment the door opened. He closed his eyes because he couldn't believe that the love of his life was standing right behind him watching him sitting in front of her trailer like some kind of creepy stalker.

"Patrick?" He could hear her voice. She was real. This is really happening... He opened his eyes and dared to turn his head her direction. He could hear her footsteps getting closer to him. He got goose bumps from the close proximity. He could already smell her perfume and her lavender hair.

"What are you doing here? It's almost midnight!" She said surprised to find him there. She didn't know what he's doing at the front of her trailer and she got really worried about him.

"Are you alright?" She sat down next to him and looked into his eyes. The eyes she fell in love with long time ago. She wanted to put her hand on his shoulder but she remembered the last time they spoke so she stopped herself from doing it. 

He looked up and caught her eyes. He locked his eyes with hers and didn't want to do anything else than to kiss her. However, he didn't know what to say or do. Yet he wanted to. He opened his mouth in attempt to say anything but she took all his breath away.

"What is it..." She said, worry in her voice as she felt her stomach started to hurt from all the stress because she still didn't know what had happened.

"Ellen, I want to be with you." He started, replaying what he had said before. He took a deep breath. "We agreed with Jillian that we will get a divorce." He could see her face got lit up a little but she looked at him confused. He lifted his hand and tried to touch her face but he was too afraid she would break under his touch.

"She wants to sell the house, take all the money, wants me to pay her pocket money for two years from the divorce and... and..." He looked down on their legs almost touching. "She said I can't date anyone during those two years..." He was still staring at their legs. "I know it sounds ridiculous but I've been in love with you since day one and she knew it and she now wants me to pay back for it..." He whispered, tears started to form in his eyes. "Now all I want to know is... is that... if you want to be with me. I am leaving Jillian anyway but I need some strenght to go through all of this mess and I need to know if you're in...." he stopped and looked straight into her eyes like he was looking straight into her soul. "Because I am in." He said firmly and slowly caressed her cheek. And she hesitated. She opened her mouth but no sound came. And that was the moment he got really worried she doesn't want him.