fight for us ↠ harry styles [b2] ✓

CHAPTER 37

37—Renleigh Kensington

Life is so weird. There was no other way to describe it. Either that, or I was not smart enough to define it in any other way. Thinking about it a little more, I reckon the latter is the case. A lot of people tell me I'm quite smart—or seem that way, which I can agree with because I can make myself look however, I need to look—but in actuality, I'm pretty fucking dumb. Not saying that to look cute or sound edgy, because honestly, I do think it's pretty sexy when someone is smart—khm, Harry Styles, also known as my fiancé—but I'm just not. I barely passed my GCSEs and I don't know how I managed to get through college, nevermind getting a Bachelor's and Master's degree. Perhaps it was all pure luck, I'm not sure. It's not even the point. Life is still weird.

Harry and I went on a walk and he had a glass of water and a cup of coffee. There was still no news regarding Olivia, so I called my brother on FaceTime and we spoke to Leila—though mostly Brandon—for the time being. I let Harry speak for the most part because he had some 'serious apologising to do' and it made me smile to see him look better. Feeling like they were in an invisible bubble, he managed to forget about the situation at hand and I could breathe. Up until that moment, it didn't occur to me that there was something blocking my lungs and weighed on my chest.

Seeing him go through things like this, took a huge chunk out of me. I think the first time I ever felt genuinely helpless with him in my life, was the day he called me because his best friend passed away. I still to this day, have no idea who Matt was and it's not because I don't care. Simply, it's not something Harry likes talking about. On Matt's birthday and the day he passed, he'd bring him up and share a happy memory or two, but that's it. His absence pains him and it's difficult to stomach, even for me. I don't think this man had a year off where something terrible didn't happen to him. I'm pretty sure he's been to hell and back, multiple times since we started dating and experiencing it with him has been a very interesting journey.

If there was one person who deserved some time off, it was Harry. He was one of the best of us who had been put through some rather challenging experiences.

This accident with his mother and sister was pushing him to his limits, even if he tried to mask it. He was the glue in his family and I was very familiar with the position. Being the eldest child may come with freedom, the responsibilities to carry out under immense amount of pressure, is not worth that little bit of breathing room. Right now, though, it felt like he didn't have that tiny breathing room at all. That terrified him and it terrified me.

His connection to Olivia was deeply rooted. His love for his sister was unlike any I've seen. He would've let her use him as a rug over the burning ground if she came across it. Olivia Styles had to be one of the luckiest little girls in the world to have brothers like Harry and Mason. They both adored her so much and for good reason. Ever since I first met her, it was clear to me that she was the light in their life. Their parents were absent and they were left with each other and whatever nannies Leon and Amelia hired for them. The bond between the three was simply unbreakable and I wondered how they would deal without each other.

I couldn't help but think of the worst in this scenario. As Harry briefly explained, the car that hit them, came from the left which sent the car that Amelia was driving, flying. The impact crushed the passenger seat, where Olivia sat, and now, she was in surgery. Since Harry left the villa, it's been six hours and it was now nine in the morning, UK time. I wasn't the most educated on hospital things and how surgeries worked, even if one of my parents was a nurse, but I was pretty sure her injuries had to be critical for it to take so long. Faintly, I remembered my father saying how it can take up to twelve hours to deal with a victim, depending on the severity of their situation which meant we were half way through the procedure.