The art of love (Oikawa x suicidal reader)

Chapter 3

I woke up the next morning, and for a moment all was peaceful. A small amount of morning sunlight peaked through the dusty, cracked window of my bedroom.

I look over at the bloodied bandages on my arm, and suddenly yesterday's events cane flooding back to me.

I groaned. I felt like today would be another miserable day.

I got ready for school and went downstairs, and found that my father was gone; the only proof he had been there was the several beer bottles surrounding the couch.

This didnt bother me at all, in fact I'd rather my dad wasnt around. He's always drunk and, when hes not yelling at me, passed out.

I dont even bother searching the cupboards for food. I cant remember the last time I ate breakfast.

I pull my school uniform sweater down my arms to hide last night's injuries, then hurry to school, dreading the day to come.

~~~At school~~~

I had barely even made it through the school doors when a tall girl came running up to me. I already knew what she wanted before she said anything.

"Hi! So, uh, I saw that drawing of Oikawa you did for Yuri yesterday. It was amazing! I was, um, wondering if you could do one for me too?"

"Yeah sure" I reply. It's not like I have anything better to do. Suddenly, the girl turned red and came closer to me.

"D-do you think you can draw him in a skirt?"

I was slightly taken aback by this request, but I had seen weirder.

"Ok..." I say, and the girl looks embarrassed but also pleased as she walked away.

To be honest, part of me wondered what Oikawa would look like in a skirt...

I think about how I'll draw Oikawa as I make my way to my first class, being careful to keep my arms covered.

Sitting down at my desk, I take out my sketch pad and begin to make a rough outline of Oikawa. I plan on putting him in the girl's school uniform.

I'm so engaged in my artwork that I dont even realise that class had started until the teacher shouted at me.

"I'm sorry, am I boring you?" He said sternly. The whole class, including Oikawa, turned to look at me.

"No-no sir. I didnt realise class had started." A few people chuckled silently at this.

I tried to slip my sketch pad into my bag without anyone realizing, but the teacher soon caught me.

"Is what your working on there more important than my class?"

I began to panic. My heart pounded loudly in my chest, and my stomach was tight and twisted.

"If that's the case, then I'd better take a look!" He began walking over to me.

fuckfuckfuckfuck

"No sir, really, it's not that at all, please" I tried to pull my sketches away, barely holding back tears, but the teacher took it and inspected it.

His eyes widened suddenly at looking upon my creation.

"Well well well, now THIS is interesting!"

I huh myself and dig my nails hard into my arms.

He turns and shows my drawing to the rest of the class, who look at me in shock, before bursting out laughing.

Stop it. I cant take it anymore.

I suddenly run out of the room, bursting into tears. I dont even look to see how Oikawa reacted to the drawing.

I sprint all the way to the bathroom, lock myself in a stall, and begin to cry into my knees.

I hate everything. Why can't something go right for once? I want to die.

"I WANT TO DIE!" I scream out loud, without meaning to. I immediately search into my pocket and pull out my razor, which I carry around with ne everywhere.

This time, i hold the cool blade against my left arm and begging cutting. Each cut us so soothing, the pain almost therapeutic.

But I realised that I'd cut pretty deep, and I didnt have any bandages to cover up. So instead I pull my shirt sleeve back down and put my sweater on to cover the blood stains that soaked into the left side of my shirt.

With that, I splash my face with water and step outside, dreading having to face people again.

However, as soon as I push open the door, I'm met with a familiar face.

Oikawa was standing right outside the bathroom door.

He looked down at me, but this time, not with his usual smile. He seemed... concerned? It was hard to tell.

"I thought you'd be here." He said softly. "For the record, I thought that drawing was quite extraordinary."

I suddenly remember how I had screamed, and worried that he had heard me. I look away in pain.

"How long have you been standing there." I say coldly, holding back yet more tears.

"Not that long." He responded. He felt sorry for me. I could feel it in his words. I bet he was thinking, 'look at this pitiful child, so hopeless'.

I couldn't bare it. I suddenly walk away without looking back, but to my disliking, Oikawa continued following me outside.

Suddenly, he grabbed me by my arm, and my body froze in pain. My sweater had moved up my arm where Oikawa had grabbed it, revealing the blood stained shirt underneath.

Seeing this, Oikawa let go and I quickly pulled my sweater sleeve back down.

He'd seen it. He'd seen the blood. He's gonna think I'm disgusting. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him.

"Y/N... I'm so sorry. Please, talk to me. I wanna help you."

"Just leave me alone!" I cry at him, and he looks at me with surprise and sadness. Why is he sad? "Why do you even care about me!?"

He looks at me with a sympathetic expression, before walking towards me and wiping the tears from my cheek.

"Because your my partner. I need you." Only then do I look into his big brown eyes.

And then, just for a moment, everything feels ok.