The art of love (Oikawa x suicidal reader)

Chapter 12

I watch the hospital as it's slowly absorbed into the dark of the night, and my stomach twisted. But it wasn't the usual kind of scared type, instead it was twisted with a feeling of excitement.

I look up. The sky above is empty and clear, specked with small dots of light.

I take a deep breath in, and feel the cold air in my lungs once more. I lean the side of my face against Oikawa's back and close my eyes, taking in his familiar sweetish scent.

"You okay?" He calls back to me, still pedalling.

"I'm being kidnapped from a hospital. So I'd say I'm doing pretty great."

He chuckles, and the sound of it makes me smile wide. I never used to smile before, and yet when I'm around him it seems so natural.

We eventually come to town, and I can tell it's the town I live in but I dont recognise where we are.

Where the hell is he taking me?

Finally, Oikawa stops peddling and puts his foot down. We both step of the bike and he walks towards the house we stopped in front of.

The house is quite big, and is decorated with flower pots.

"This is my place, I live here alone." Oikawa announces, opening the door for me.

"How come?" I ask, as I take my shoes off and look around. The inside is heavily furnished and clean, and I take a few moments to appreciate how comfortable it seems.

"My parents moved away a few months ago for work. They left me the house until I graduate. I hope you dont mind the mess."

I turn to look at him. "Are you kidding me? This place is a mansion compared to the shithole I live in."

"Hey," Oikawa begins. "You know, I'll make sure you never have to go back there again. Even if it means hiding you here for the rest of our lives."

"O-oikawa..."

He walks over to me and grabs my hand, pulling me up the stairs and into what I assume is his bedroom.

In the middle of the room was a bed, and there was a Computer by the wall. I also notice a volleyball in one corner of the room. It's so... him.

He sits me down on the bed next to him, before reaching underneath and pulling out something square and brown.

The book.

He carefully hands it to me, and gestures that I open it. I do so, and flick past the older pages to the most recent ones.

And I can't belive my eyes.

On the newest page, is a picture of mum's tree in the middle, with one of the small pink flowers taped next to it.

Around that is several pictures of me. The one of me smiling at the tree, one of me on the balcony of the treehouse looking out at the sunset, a selfie me and him took ages ago that I'd completely forgotten about.

He had decorated the empty spaces of the page with decorative tape and small drawings of hearts and flowers (which were surprisingly well done).

It was beautiful, and much nicer than the pages I had done.

"This is amazing, Oikawa. You really did this?"

He ruffles my hair in response.
"Well of course I did, idiot. Oh, and call me Tooru."

I smile at him, and he looks at me with eyes that are so happy, yet so sad.

"Look." He sighs, taking a sad tone. "I understand things have been shitty for you. And I'm so sorry I didn't notice, I'm an awful person."

I go to interrupt, but he continues.

"But, I swear, with all the love in my heart, I will protect you. Never again will you have to feel sad, or scared, or like you would rather die."

"Tooru..." I begin to tear up. He pulls the book from my lap and holds it up to me.

"I did this because you mean so much to me. Being with you makes me feel so happy, like all the sadness in the world just melts away. I put you in this book because you are what it means to be alive to me."

At this I begin to cry. In my whole life, I have never meant anything to nothing. And now, I mean something to someone. To be wanted - it's truly a great feeling. One worth living for.

"So, please. Stay alive for me. Be my reason to live, and let me be yours."

So many tears are rolling down my face, I think if I try to talk I'll start sobbing, so I gently nod my head at him.

He smiles wide at me, and tears begin to form in his eyes. Suddenly, he pulls me into a deep hug, and I sink into it.

For the first time, I feel as if I belong somewhere. And that somewhere is right here, in his arms, as we sit on his bed crying into each other.

And right now, I realise, that as long as I'm with him, I will always feel alive.

Because you, shittykawa. The popular guy at school I draw. The idiot I happened to be partnered with. The guy who showed me how to live again.

You are what being alive means to me.

The end

~~~

Hi reader! I just want to say, thank you so much for reading my story. It really means so much.

This story was not in any way made to romanticize or encourage self harm in any kind of way. If you are struggling with the issues in this story, then please know you are loved, and that things always get better. Talk to someone. If there's no one, you can talk to me.

I hope you enjoyed the story. I'm honeslty overwhelmed with all the kind words I've been given, and I'm really glad if this story could help you in any way.

Thank you again for reading.

Kai xx