The art of love (Oikawa x suicidal reader)

Chapter 8

"We're here."

Oikawa stops and looks around for a second. I cant make out his expression.

"So... what exactly is this place?" He asks, innocently.

We stand in a small field, surrounded by bushes and trees. Before us stood a lone tree, not much taller than us, with small pink flowers blossoming in the sun. It seems out of place among all the normal, green trees.

I walk over to it, and gently place a hand on the soft trunk.

"When I was born..." I began. "My mother suffered a lot from postnatal depression. But she always tried to put on a brave face, because she knew she had to look after me."

I didnt know why I was telling him this. I didnt even know he was listening. But still, i continued.

"However, one day, she couldn't take it anymore, and committed suicide."

The words stung like nettles to my heart. Feelings I had tried so hard to block out began rising. I didnt even care about Oikawa anymore, I simply wanted to let it all out.

"My father always blamed me for her death. So did I. It was my fault."

I finally turned to Oikawa again. He didnt look at me, but at the ground, his fluffy bangs over his eyes.

"This tree, it's called a prunus. We couldn't afford a grave so instead I secretly planted it here."

I reached up to the tree, and carefully pluck one of the pink flowers, and hold it between my fingers. A tear rolled down from my face and landed on it. I didnt even realise I had been crying.

"Is that why.. you did it?" Oikawa finally speaks up. I look at him, and his face bears an expression I've never seen before. One so full of pain.

"Did what?"

With that he walks over to me, takes hold of my wrist and pulls down the sleeve of my school sweater, revealing the bloodied bandages underneath.

I look down in shame.

"I saw the blood on your shirt that day. I know what you did. But, I was never sure how to help you."

Oikawa had known this whole time? Why didn't he day anything.

"I'm sorry."

"But why? Why would you hurt yourself?" I look up again, and see tears rolling from Oikawa's face.

He was...crying? Over me? I didn't think he cared that much. The thought made me begin to cry more.

"I just, I always felt like there was no reason for me to live. That i was burden, and that i didn't deserve love, not even from my myself. I feel like everything would be easier if i were dead. I-"

But I can't finish my sentance because suddenly, Oikawa pressed his lips against mine. I'm so shocked, that's it's over before I even realise what happened.

He cups my face in his hands and presses his forehead against mine.

"Listen to me. You deserve love, more than most people do. Your beautiful, talented and kind, and dont you dare blame your mother's death on yourself. This world needs you. I need you. Please stay."

I cant bring myself to say anything, so instead I sink into Oikawa's chest, and he pulls my closer, wrapping his arms around me. I'm still clutching the flower between my fingers, and feel its feathery petals as I cry softly into him.

We stay like this for what seems like forever, and I like it. For the first time I feel wanted. And it's a great feeling.

Fiannlly we break apart, and I'm left feeling a mix of emotions. Oikawa breaks the silence.

"Besides, I need you to carry this stupid art project for me, I dont know what I'd do without you!"

I look at him blankly for a moment, as the sudden change of tone in his voice completely shatters the mood. Just then, I begin to laugh uncontrollably.

"You really are an idiot, shittykawa!" I continue laughing, and it feels so good.

I only stop when I hear a click. I open my eyes to see Oikawa pointing a camera at me.

"Did you just take a picture of me?" I look at him strangely.

"I had to. You dont smile often, and it really suits you. You should do it more!"

With that I glared at him, and he stepped back in fear.

"Okay okay, point taken!" And with that we both giggle quietly.

And there's that feeling again. That feeling i felt back in the treehouse. The feeling that everything's ok, even for a moment. That feeling of being alive.

Oikawa takes the flower from my hand, and reaches into my bag and pulls out the book.

"Tou did some incredible work, so it's just fair that I add to our little project too." He gave me a cheeky wink, and I cant help but smile back at him.

"Sure, but you break my camera and your dead." I give him a death glare, and that seems to get the point across.

"I won't disappoint!" He says, before turning and walking out of the trees. I watch him for a moment before turning back to the blossoming prunus tree.

"Are you seeing this, Mom?" I whisper towards the tree. I smile quietly to myself.

Maybe things are better now.