The art of love (Oikawa x suicidal reader)

Chapter 4

Oikawa's pov

The day's events keep replaying in my head. I could've sworn I saw blood on Y/N's shirt.

And when I looked into their eyes, they seemed so sad and empty. I dont know why, but it truly pained me to see Y/N like this.

I sighed and pulled my art workbook out of my school bag. I flipped through the pages of crappy oil paintings and various 'abstract' sketches, until I got to the most recent page.

There, circled in orange highlighter, was the word 'alive'. It seemed to jump out at me from the middle of the page, encrypting itself into my brain.

Around the word I had written ideas of what being alive meant to me. It said:

Volleyball, friends (iwa-chan), milk bread...

I take out my pen, and add to the mind map.

'Y/N' I write.

Your pov

I didnt want to go to school today.

Well, to fair, I dont want to go to school everyday, but this day especially.

However, if I didnt leave the house before my dad eventually came home, I knew the outcome would be much worse.

My life sucks.

I can feel the wondering gaze of other students as I walk to school, but at this point, I dont even care anymore. I'm already so empty that it doesn't have an effect on me.

I simply keep my head down, and carry on walking. But I must have been really out of it, because I bumped into something... no... someone.

"I'm sorry..." I stutter, and look up, only to see that I had walked right into Oikawa Tooru.

For fucks sake.

I expect him to start yelling at me, but instead, he gives me a cheerful smile and tilts his head at me. I'm not used to people smiling at me, and I'm taken aback a little.

"Hey there! I was waiting for you, I started to think you weren't gonna show up."

It take me a moment to process what he said.

Oikawa? Was waiting? For me?!

"Mhm?" I manage to make a confused sound, but Oikawa doesnt seem to notice.

"Come on now, I know we both have independent study sessions first period, and we really need to get going with this art project."

He's so happy and full of life, it kinda tires me out a bit just being around him. I just stand there, like an idiot, unsure of what to to.

Suddenly, much to his crowd of fan girl's disapproval, he takes my hand and drags me into the school.

"W-wha"

"Wow, your really slow, do I have to carry you?" He looks over his shoulder at me with a cheeky grin.

A wave of embarrassment washes over me, I can feel people staring at us as we make our way to the school library.

When we finally come to a stop, I'm overwhelmed with what just happened. I end up standing still again, watching him, trying to process everything.

Oikawa takes a seat at one of the tables and beckons me to sit next to him. I do so obediently, feeling pretty tense.

The library is quiet, with only a few students in. I was happy about that, I didnt need any more filthy looks from people.

Oikawa gets his art book out his bag, and I do so to, turning to page that says 'alive'.

Shit. I hadn't written anything yet.

Oikawa realises this, and looks at me hopelessly.

"Oh dear, I was kinda hoping you would carry this project for me. I guess I'll have to help after all."

I can't tell if he's joking or not.

I try to take a peek at what he had written, and manage to catch a few words. 'Volleyball' (of course), 'milk bread' and...

Oikawa notices me snooping, and quickly shuts his book with an awkward laugh.

Was that... my name?

Of course not, idiot. Why would he write my name? I must be bullshitting myself.

"Well it's a good thing I came prepared!" Oikawa exclaimed suddenly, making jump. He pulls out an A4 book with a leather cover and places it on the desk in front of me.

"What's this?" I pick up the book and gently stroke the brown leather. I open it and flick through the blank pages.

"You see, I found this and thought we could make a scrapbook out of it!"

I think for a moment.

"That's a great idea, but what should we put in it?" I turn back to Oikawa, who's looking extremely excited about something.

"We could stick in photos, maybe some small items. And you could do some of your amazing drawings. We'll fill it with things that show what being alive means to us."

"That's actually an awesome idea Oikawa-San!" Im surprised he had thought this far ahead. Yet, my happiness quickly washes away. "But the thing is, I dont have anything I could put in it."

Oikawa looks at me, puzzled.

"What do you mean? Are you saying... that you don't know what it means to be alive?"

I stare at him in silence, unsure of what to say. Realising this, Oikawa's expression turns sad. He gets up and offers me his hand, which I take and he pulls me up from my seat.

"In that case..." he says to me, giving me that familiar mischievous look.
"I'll have to show you!"

"You're... gonna show me what it means to be alive?"

"Indeed I am! And, when you figure it out, you can put it all in this book." With that, he picks up the book from the table and presses it against my chest.
"In fact, I know a great place to take you to begin our quest!"

"Quest?" He was speaking so fast, I could barely keep up.

"Our quest to find life's meaning! I'll meet you at 9 in the evening, tomorrow, outside the school gates. Sound good?"

"I, um, I-" I'm cut off by the sound of the school bell, calling the end of first period.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow then!" Oikawa swings his bag around his shoulder and swiftly exits the library.

He's gone before I can even decline his offer, and I'm left standing alone in the middle of the library, still clutching the leather scrapbook.

I guess I'm going with Oikawa to find life's meaning.

What have I gotten myself into?