Gonna Fly Now

Chapter Fifty-Eight - I Will Go To War

One month of physical therapy later, Letty started training with her grandfather again. She was sitting on the edge of the ring inside the gym.

- What are you doing? Freddie asked as he approached her.

- Nothing.

- Yeah, that's the problem.

- Well, tell me what to do then.

- You've never had to have me tell you how to start. You just start.

She sighed and nodded. She should be excited. She was excited to start training for real. But something was pulling her back.

- The only reason that bitch wants a rematch is to beat me for a real. She's better.

- No, she's angry. Because she was taught to fight angry. That's what that piss of shit manager taught her. To fight with anger and hate. And hate always takes over, which is why she lost.

- She didn't lose, she was disqualified.

- Because she let it get the better of her. You're better than that. You don't fight with hate.

She looked down at her hands holding the gloves that she had tied together. She wanted not only to beat Donna, but to beat Charlie and show him that she made it without him. She had already done it but she wanted to do it face to face with him. And she failed. They hadn't accepted her challenge yet and Donna was taking pride in that, thinking she was afraid of her. She was on TV, talking to reporters how Letty was too much of a coward to face her again.

- You weren't fighting for you that night. That was the difference from the times before. You fought to prove someone wrong. She fought with hate and you tried to mimic it. But you're not like that, Letty. You fight with heart. That's what you do to be a great fighter.

Heart, not muscle. That was what they always said. What Freddie always told her again and again until it was tattooed into her brain.

- Now, c'mon. Let's get started.

She jumped off the ring and down to the floor. She thought a pep talk from Freddie work. It always did the trick in the past. But something was still pulling her back, as if there was a rope around her waist and someone kept pulling it back to keep her from moving forward.

≈

At the end of the weekend, Derek went to the gym to check on Letty's process in training and also pick her up. Letty was in the corner working on the speed bag and she was struggling. He knew she could work that thing better than anyone in this gym. And now she kept dropping it.

- How is she doing? He asked Freddie.

- She's... not in it.

He walked upstairs to the office. Derek put his hands in his pockets as he walked towards Letty. She hit the bag in frustration and let out a sigh. She ripped off the gloves and dropped them to the floor.

- Are you okay? He asked.

- Yeah, amazing.

Sign one to back off.

- You ready to go home?

- Yeah, I guess.

She went to the locker room to change.

≈

Letty got halfway around the reservoir when she just stopped. She was breathing heavy, ready to box down a tree. She sat down on a bench and leaned her head in her hands, then hitting her head. As if to hit some sense into herself.