Camila POV
I had been a week sober already but I was not over with withdrawal it happened mostly at night but though out the day I felt my patients run low
I got upset at the little things like when they made me eat or told me to go in this room every night when I would rather leave the only reason I stay is I want to be in my baby's life
But Lately I've just been annoyed at everything and everyone I just wanted to bust out of here and grab a fix
I sat on the bed in my empty room sitting up with my face in my hands as tears fell from my eyes it was hard to breath
I wanted to use so bad my muscle's ached and Lauren hasn't come down to see me in about two days I felt horrible sitting in this bed
I felt mad at the world for doing this to me I stood up in rage shoving my PS4 watching as it smashed into pieces against the wall but that wasn't enough
I kicked the dresser witch held the PS4 causing the drawers to fall in on each other just then Lauren's father walked in
"What is going on in here Camila"he asked looking around the room
"Can you just leave me alone" I asked angrily that he just busted in here
"I can't when you're destroying my house" he told me
"I'll pay for it okay can you just get out" I told him once more as my breathing picked up
Just then I finally see Lauren come into the room looking confused
"Lauren go upstairs" her father told her seeing I was pretty upset but knowing Lauren she wouldn't give up
"Just give me a second with her I know she won't hurt me dad" she told him as if I wasn't standing right here
"Okay then" he said walking out the room leaving me standing here with Lauren across from me
"So now you want to be in here" I asked her mad she only wants to show up when I'm hurting
"I'm sorry babe is that what you're so upset about" she asked moving closer but it just made me angrier
"No I'm mad because I have to stay here I'm mad that I have to be sober like why can't you accept me for me because your the one who made me do it this is all your fault I'm this way because of you" I told her remembering the first time I used
i only did it because I felt alone and I wouldn't have been felt alone if Lauren didn't leave if she didn't make me need her I felt trapped and it was Lauren's fault
She looked at me confused as if she didn't know what I was talking about
"I'm sorry you feel that way" she said without another thought she was gone out the room and replaced with her father
"What did you do to her" he asked me
"I only told her the truth" and with that I got into the cold bed feeling my head throb listening for the door to close
Once that door closed I broke down crying feeling bad for what I had just done I cried and cried till finally I just feel asleep
Four days had gone by slow I was no longer mad and upset now I just felt pure sadness and emptiness
I wanted Lauren I missed Lauren but she no longer came down to see me and I wouldn't blame her
I hated myself for what I had blamed her for but it was far from her fault I was just angry it was mine I chose to abuse drugs and I still blamed them love of my life
I stood up pacing back and forth in the small room debating if I should go upstairs and apologize to her like I have the past few days but never doing so
I finally grew a pair of balls and walked out the room passing her father who was working from home like he had since we started this journey
I walked upstairs and to Lauren's room stopping at her door taking a few breaths before knocking then waited
A few moments later the door swung open reviling my tired looking girlfriend
"Camila" she said confused
"Hello my love" I let out barely above a whisper
"So I'm you're love now" she asked upset
"Please can I just come in let's talk" I told her tears pooling my eyes at the thought of here being mad at me
"Fine" she said letting me walk in her room Closing the door behind us
I turned around grabbing her arms to pull her closer
"Please Lauren please my love forgive me one last time you know I didn't mean what I said that day I wasn't myself I haven't been myself in awhile and you know this and I need you back please just forgive me" I begged as tears fell from my eyes
"I get it baby i was just hurt but I forgive you I was just waiting until you forgave yourself" she told me wiping my tears as they fell
I didn't say anything else I just pulled her close locking her lips with mine something we haven't did in awhile
"I want you to know I love you more then life it's self" I told her holding her face in my hand
"I love you too baby" she said pulling me back into a kiss
