Strike a balance

Chapter 1

Well who is the actual Pagol' in my family I never understood. Sometimes I ask myself am I 'Pagol' or my surrounding is like that. I seem to never find a correct answer for that. Every individual in my family has a very complex and complicated character. Sometimes I hate them for their existence on this planet after a while I feel that I cannot live them.
I am saying them 'Pagol' is because they are very weird. They have a lot of mood swings. I mean literally a lot. Unnecessary discussions. And the family meeting my God.......their discussion has p the ptopics are usually on a person's character. They are very theinterested in other businesses. Sometimes the meetings intends to take ugly turn. Resulting fights between the members.

Peace does not lasts for long. I was born after 12 years of my Parent's marriage. There was a lot of excitement when I came to this world, because previously my parents had 3 sons , my brothers actually.

It's not usual in a village to be so happy when a girl is born you know. My dad surprisingly always wanted a girl but he got not one but 3 sons instead. He was actually very happy. But hoped for a girl and he prayed a lot.  And then when I was born his joy knew no bound. He was very happy. The villagers were really surprised.

Dad kept my name 'Sneha' which means Love or affection. His wish of having a daughter was complete so he gave me enough affection always. My mom was happy as any other normal mom.... As she had 3 sons before me so she would not have to hear a taunt of not bearing a son to her husband. The society I was born in was very conservative and backdated.
Nevertheless time passed , by the time I was 3 years old...The dimension of my family completely changed. I remember that night....the memory was not so clear...It's really was hazy.
I saw my dad in a drunken state  like he was heavily drunk blabbering all those nonsense and breaking things. I was so scared I started to cry . My elder brother  Ahmed  quickly took me into another room. 
From then onwards everything completely changed. Everyday there were shouting and noises . Fights between my parents never seem to stopped. We 4 siblings were extremely scared to death.

My oldest brother Ahmed tried to stop them but mom and dad asked him to leave. My second oldest brother Ehsan mastered courage for them to step but who listens to whom. Sadiq youngest of my 3 brothers was closer to my age. 1 year senior. We both were scared the most.
Ahmed and Ehsan bro loved me very much . But in the following years I grew most close with Sadiq. He was the one you can count on everything an ideal  brother I would rather say. He always supported me in everything I did.

And my parents their fight never stopped in the following years. The problem was they ,especially my dad never forgot the old memories or incidents always he likes to repeat them and which caused a fight. Whatever mom did he only found flaws.

You know the most interesting fact they never got divorce. Like never I never understood why. One day my mom was taking my dad's shirt for laundry in that shirt there was hair of some other women so she did not even bother to look at it. I just watched her. I was 5. She came and told me " Remember dear all relationships are not perfect, you gotta make sacrifice and it's the woman who must do it " .  I didn't understand a word she said. "Okay,so you will also compromise like me right ?"

"Yes ma" she hugged me and went. That's why I call my family 'Pagol'. They live in a unhealthy relations. They criticises others for their characters but doesn't see that they have their own flaws as well.

My dad had 3 sisters, and 1 brothers. He was the youngest of all. What shall I say about my aunts My god . All of my aunt had affairs. All of them. Not only my aunts their husband had also affair. Not one many...... my uncle I guess was exceptional in that guess. But my uncles wife Jorina had affairs.

When did dad decided to walk on the path of his siblings, we never realised. Well as we lived in a village news travels very fast there. But my family members were vertical cautious with their fake image no one knew anything about their private and bad .