Just a little crush ♥️

CHAPTER 16

You know the feeling of everything is right but at the same time it isn't ? That's what I am feeling right now ... Like something is missing and something is going away ...far away ....

Firstly , I thought it is because of Ani . As he hasn't spoken to me since one week and is doing the ignoring like it's his job .
But now I feel like it's more... Now I am feeling like something is going to burst inside me ...

Then to ease my mind I called my mom .. talked everything out ... She said what I need is break ... Ofcourse she wants to see me ... So suggested coming home for few days ... May be I should consider that ... Go home for a while ..

You know I have read somewhere that when nothing is right and you think things are falling apart ...you should just stop there ...take a break and then after it start the same thing as new one .

May be it will help me forget this Ani thing also . I mean now I am really hurt . Firstly I thought whatever he said that day was just out of anger or anything else ... And that he will come around... Will be normal like that only ...
But the fact that he hasn't even consider looking at me or sitting at the same table during lunch is telling me that he really believes whatever he said .

Or may be all this is just a "kachra" in my head and  I am just having an off day ... A very long day .

I think I don't do well with the off days ...I mean on  every other days ,there is work , friends and all ..I can survive ..but the fact that I have started surviving my days here and not living it is depressing in itself .

And I am here ,at the terrace of my hostel... Looking at nowhere ... thinking how it's been this long since I came here... Since I  saw my parents ...since I met my old buddies ...since everything

How Bindaas girl I was in my childhood ...  I was totally different bat that time ... Was doing the same thing that heart wanted to do ... Was just enjoying everything about my life .

And then suddenly everything Changed ... Ofcourse I got older and started thinking ... Using brain in everything ... Started focusing on studies and future and doing all those things that every other person must do to survive in this race of life ....

And then when I got closer to my dream ,got admission in MBBS college another thing strucked....

Ani

To think of the whole " just a little crush " thing now , I really liked him at that time ... I was all smitten or should I say gone case at that matter ...

I thought he was too good at everything ... It was like Ani can  do this and that and I can't even sing infront of a bunch of people .

And that's where my insecurities started . I was looking at myself and comparing at the same time ... And started hating everything about it ... couldn't even get straight with the studies and anything to be true ...

But after nearly 2 and half years of such ... I asked myself is it really worth it ? And couldn't even answer ... And that was it ... Suddenly I was different person again . Was thinking differently , was more focused , was looking forward towards exams and all .

And now he is here again... And again vi am thinking the same ... Thinking like ....

"Anu , are you and him dating ? "