Can I be?

Chapter 15

That night, there's another feast, this time to celebrate that the king has healed. It is just a typical dwarvish feast. There's a lot of food, and loads of beer. In only an hour, everyone is drunk. Everyone is having a good time, and so have I. I usually don't like this at all. I prefer sitting in a quiet room, reading a good book. But today, I really feel like partying, I just don't get drunk. I never really liked beer, I always prefered wine, but since they don't have wine in Erebor, I just drink water. I'm having a really good time anyway. I sing and dance. But after a few hours, I'm getting real tired. I didn't sleep very well the past few nights, so I am pretty exhausted. I decide to at least take a nap. I go to my room, undress, and put on the first comfortable-looking shirt I can find in my closet. I let myself fall down on my bed and almost immediatly fall asleep. I wake up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. I was getting chased by orcs on wargs, being leaded by Eowen. I rode on a horse, and next to me were Fìli, Kìli and Thorin. At some point they got caught, all three. I had to look how they got ripped apart, I couldn't look away. I woke up crying, with a loud scream. A few seconds after, my door opens and Fìli comes running in. "Are you okay? I heard a scream." I'm sitting in my bed, my knees pulled up to my chest, I'm sobbing. Fìli comes to me and sits down on the bed. He puts his arm around me and I immediatly feel more comfortable. "It was just a nightmare..." I say. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head. "Do you want to stay with me?" I ask him. "Yes, always..." he says. He lies down and I lie on his chest. After a while I can hear he's asleep, his breath is slow and deep. It calms me down, but I still can't sleep. I carefully push myself up and look at him. I did this way too many times already, but it never gets old. I just can't help it, I've fallen in love with him... "I love you, Fìli..." I wisper softly, so he doesn't hear it. "And I love you, Gwendolyn..." he whispers back. "I thought you were asleep!" I say shocked. If I knew he was awake, I would've never said that. He smiles and stares at me. "What?" I say laughing. He kisses me, long and slow. It seems to last forever, but too short at the same time. I lie myself back on your chest "Amrâlimê." Fìli says. "amrâlimê." I say back. Then we fall asleep.