secrets

ch. 10

Izuku

I sit down at the kitchen table and look at the food they made for me but I don't want to eat it. I don't deserve to eat. Yamada hands me two pills and a Powerade. My hands start to shake as my breathing picks up. Tears prickle at my eyes as my chest starts to feel tight.

  "They're just painkillers. They will help with the ache, I know recovery girl healed you but she said you will still feel a little sore for a couple of days. If you can't take the pills we could always try liquid painkillers but it's not going to taste good even the flavored ones don't taste good."

  I nodded before taking a deep breath to steady myself before taking them without complaint gagging on them as I try to swallow. I keep reminding myself they won't hurt me before focusing on my plate of food. As I'm looking at the food I bring my trembling hands together under the table to avoid eating. I know I don't deserve to eat I'm a hero in training that couldn't even save myself. I'm not hero, how can I save anyone if I can't even save myself? I should give the quirk back just having it is tarnishing it's legacy. Once he takes it back I can disappear and not exist anymore.

  "Izuku, you need to try and eat something. I know you might not want to but you need to at least try. If you don't eat you won't gain your strength back."

  I hear aizawa say pulling me out of the downward spiral I was in. I sigh and pick up the fork and scooped up some of my sunny side up eggs. I take my first bite and it was good I mean really good but I still didn't deserve this delicious meal. I don't deserve anything I couldn't protect myself or my mom and I don't even know where she's at or if she's okay.
  I slowly chew taking more time than needed.

  "Izuku, do you want me to bring your homework back with me after school today?" Zashi asked.

  I don't feel like talking my tongue feeling like lead and even though I know I won't get hurt from answering I just can't shake the thought from my mind. I'm nodding my head so fast it would have flown across the room if it wasn't attached. I don't want to get behind on my school work plus I love learning.

  "Yes" I say forcing the words out of my mouth. They came out so quiet they could barely be heard but it was the loudest I could make myself speak before my throat felt clogged like vines were preventing any sound from escaping. We ate in silence for a while I managed to eat five bites before starting to feel sick.

  "May I ask what happened to my mom? I know you're my biological dad but I'm confused. Is she just missing or?" I asked barely above a whisper. I flinched right after I spoke afraid they would yell or hit me.

  "We found out last night that she didn't make it. An officer found her a few blocks from your home." Aizawa informed me.

  I'm in shock, frozen. What's going to happen to me? I couldn't protect her. I was pulled out of my thoughts by aizawa hugging me and telling me to try and take a deep breath. It took several long minutes to breathe normally every time I try it comes out cut off and shallow. Then I understood why they set up a room for me but will they get tired of me and send me away.
  He leads me to the couch telling me to sit so I can rest. I rub the back of my hands over my eyes to clear the tears and sleepiness from them. A black kitten climbed up my pants before rubbing her face on my chest.

  "I think she likes you little one. Your the first person she has went up to since we got her a week ago. Unless you count attacking are feet." Zashi tells me.

  as i see him sit on the couch next to me. I start to pet her soft fluffy fur while trying to relax while listening to her purring on my chest. I'm trying to ignore the weird feeling in my chest from him calling me little one I can't describe what the feeling is, a longing maybe but it's painful so I push it to the back of my mind to focus on the kitten in my lap. I start to shiver as I realize how cold I am.