Don't Leave Me|| BTS

제 17 장

A/N: I'm trying to figure out a way how I should end this story. Unfortunately it will be coming to an end probably in the next chapter, I would like to start a new story and try to finish others. I don't promise a justified ending. But I do want to know rather you as readers would want an ending where you get to decide how it ends, like a question that you get to answer your own way, or I give you an ending with no cliff hanger and no wonders, knowing exactly what could and can't happen in the future.  

I squeeze my eyes shut, my hands turn into fists. I suck in a breath.

"Hey look at me."

'Look at me. Open your eyes.' His fingers enter my mouth.

I remember thinking, throw up. Just throw up, I will myself. It doesn't happen.

"Yoongi."

I'm sick then, and I can't get myself to move, but my body collapses right there. J-hope attempts to catch me but I shove his hands away. My hands reach for my hair, pulling at it, trying to wake myself back up. My sick is on the floor. And there's gasps when it happens and feet patting around me. I keep my eyes squeezed shut, my hands in my hair, someone pulling at my hands cause I must be hurting myself. I'm in a fetal position but I'm still on my feet, I'm just folded in on myself.

He puts a hand over my-his mouth. I'm not him anymore.

"Hey," J-hope's soft voice finally enters my ears, he manages to get my hands away from my hair.

"Don't look at me," I whisper, barely audible, but I know he heard me.

He has to.

"Okay. I'm not," he says.

I open my eyes a little, Jimin sets down the trash bin from the bathroom, with a new bag in it beside me. He sits down beside me.

"It's not that bad," he says to me.

And I don't know what he means by that. It could be anything. But instead of asking I say, "Okay."

"Want to lay down?" J-hope. Again.

"I just want to sit here for a minute."

Seokjin and Jungkook are on their hands and knees, kitchen trash can pulled beside them, picking up my mess. I don't have to look to know Taehyung is beside Namjoon at the table or in the bathroom cause he isn't really fond of vomit.

I start to get up and head to the bathroom. 

Taehyung is in the doorway.

"Sorry," I say, like I can control my body. I can't.

"It's okay Hyung. It's not your fault."

It's not your fault.

Haven't heard that in a while. I want to hear it again.

"What?"

"It's not your fault hyung. Don't worry about it."

He pats my back as he walks away, I clench my whole body so I don't flinch.

He had to ruin it with those words. Don't worry about it. Don't tell me what I can and can't worry about. I shut the door too loudly and lean against the sink, pick up my toothbrush and then throw it down. I watch it clatter into the sink. I clench my teeth. Tae didn't mean it like that. I pick the toothbrush back up and wash it off carefully, then calmly add the toothpaste and brush my teeth in silence. With the door locked.

When I come back into the kitchen, everyone is around the table. I look to the clock. 1 pm. Time moves fast when your body can't catch up with you. The mess on the floor isn't visible since there's a towel over it. I step over it.

"Do you feel better?" Seokjin asks.

"Sorry."

I'm sorry.

"For what?" Seokjin clarifies. I know he's waiting. I never apologize. Even when I'm in the wrong. I don't think I'm in the wrong this time, but yet I'm still here, in this position. 

"For everything."

His face softens, he stands up, I watch him take the few steps towards me, he pulls me towards him and my body lets him, it drops like it's dead.

"Yoongi," he says it so gently, like I'm broken. He can tell, he clears his throat, pushes me back so he can look into my eyes. He tries again, "I'm sorry too."

I still feel broken, but I force my body to relax. It listens this time. Seokjin smiles, when I know he wants to keep frowning. This isn't supposed to be a happy moment. Even though I want it to be.

I finally sit down across from Namjoon.

"Is your hand alright?"

There's snickers around the table. I smirk. Namjoon chuckles back, showing his teeth.

"It's fine. Not broken. I don't think."

"And you guys thought you had to worry about me," Jungkook laughs, Taehyung playfullu punches his shoulder, and J-hope laughs collapsing into him, wrapping his arms around his entire being.

"Our all mighty leader," Jimin jokes, "his hand may not be broken but Iron's nose might."

It makes me smile. Not because his nose might be broken. I know it is. But because Jimin doesn't show any sort of respect towards him. And I can't help but think how much he doesn't deserve it.

I start laughing first, "his blood was everywhere," and I can't stop, "it's for sure broken," I keep going, "I wonder how he's going to explain this one," everyone joins, J-hope, and Jungkook fall to the floor from laughing so hard, Taehyung is after him. I have to clutch my stomach, "he's in for it."

Seokjin pats my back as I choke on my laughs. I feel at peace. Everything is calm, and it feels nice. Almost normal. Everything is just close to almost.

There's a knock on the door and I freeze, I grab Seokjin's hand though I want it to be Hoseok's.

Jimin, and Jungkook get up to answer it.

"Look through the hole first," Namjoon says, all too serious now. His hand is out of the bowl, he gets up and dumps the ice and pushes the bowl aside to wash later.

Hoseok is standing, and he rounds the table to stand behind, arms on my shoulders, then rubbing my back.

"We need to talk," I hear a familiar voice at the door, and my breath hitches. I can't breathe.

Almost. We almost are done.