Don't Leave Me|| BTS

what survived may not be kind at times, but it's me.

"We need to talk," I hear a familiar voice at the door, and my breath hitches. I can't breathe.

Almost. We almost are done.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that today doesn't last forever, that eventually I'll be able to crawl into bed and go to sleep and wake up to a whole another day. I like to think the sun changes to while we sleep, it gets you a fresh start to try again. I like to think that it's true. I hope that it's true.

"Who would like to explain why Iron called me saying his nose is broken?"

Namjoon opens his mouth first. We're all sitting around the table, Namjoon at one side head of the table and our manager, Sejin at the other. 

Sejin puts up a hand to silence him, he looks to me.

"I choked him out," I say, face stone cold. I wait for reactions. Just silence.

"I didn't ask that," he just says, he looks bored.

I don't know what to say to that. Does he not care?

"What problems are we having between you all and Iron."

"It's not all of us," I pause, and Sejin just looks at me, he doesn't show confusion or curiosity. He just stares. I can't tell if he's angry or frustrated. I pray he's neither, "Just me."

"Really is that why Namjoon's hand is red instead of yours."

"Yes."

"Sejin-nim," Namjoon starts, "I let my anger get the best of me."

Jungkook and Jimin look down, but I can see them smirking, proud of our leader.

"You must have had a lot of built up anger then," he keeps his eyes on Namjoon for seconds, glances at everyone else, then his eyes land back on me.

Everything in his face changed, it wasn't stern or hard, it softened in seconds, struggling to stay serious. Sejin does care about us. Him and Bang Si-Hyuk, we're their first boy group, and basically their sons. We all started young here, they really built us to who we are now.

"I owe you an apology," I try to keep my eyes on his, I can't help but look down, I don't want to see his face when he continues. He clears his throat, takes a second, it's so quiet I want to scream.

Just say it. Just say it.

"Suga."

I hum to indicate I'm listening, I lift my head slightly so he thinks I'm looking at him, I look past him to the clock. I watch the second hand go by while he talks.

"I'm sorry I been absent. I haven't been observant. I haven't been paying attention lately. I should have. And I apologize for that."

I don't understand. I don't understand, I want to say. Are you taking blame? Are you saying it's your fault? Are you giving me permission to have someone be mad at? Are you volunteering yourself right now?

I don't know. And I don't know what to say.

"All the signs were there. The red flags, everything. I didn't catch them. It's my job to catch them," he's saying it like he means it, like he's actually blaming himself. Like he genuinely believes it might be his fault.

It's not your fault, I want to say, but instead, I say.

"Okay."

"I'm so sorry. I could've stopped it. If I just payed attention. I been so focused on txt. I should've gave you both the same attention, learned a balance. But I didn't, simply because I was lazy."