Fragile

Fragile IX

"Dad didn't come home last night." Sam frowned, turning his gaze away from the window to peer back at me. "Dad always comes home." He pushed when I didn't say anything right away. I sighed, heading towards the cabinets and pulling out a box of cereal for the both of us.

"He's on a hunting trip," I lied, instantly hating the taste of it on my tongue. I set two bowls on the table for us, glancing up as Sam made his way towards the table.  

"Without us?" He asked, his eyes flashing with pain. 

I gritted my teeth, hating how John ended up hurting Sam whether he was here or not."It's not anything personal, Sammy. You know this helps him deal with mom."

"I know, but what if one day he just doesn't come back? How will we know if he's okay?"

I stared down at the empty bowl, part of me wondering if John really would just leave us one day. "He won't leave us," I said simply, despite the sudden uncertainty that settled in my mind. 

He wouldn't hurt Sam like that.

Right? 

"Did you call the police?"

"Yes."

"And...?"

Castiel sighed, his blue eyes tired as he took the cup of coffee from my hands. He looked exhausted, worn down, as if the emotional toll of not finding his brother was starting to affect him physically. Even his clothes look distressed, his tie partially undone from the many times he's fiddled with it. We had been driving around town for a total of three hours looking for his brother, and we still couldn't find him. I was starting to wonder if we ever were gonna find him.

And if that would be a good thing or not.

"They said he isn't considered missing until it's been twenty-four hours," Castiel frowned, staring down at his cup but making no effort to drink it. I pursed my lips, taking a seat across from him.

"Did you call the hospitals?"

"Yes."

"How about his exes?"

"Yep."

"What about-"

"I did everything you could possibly think of, Dean," He snapped, his blue eyes flashing in irritation. I winced, his expression softening. "Sorry. I'm just-"

"No. It's okay, Cas. Really. I understand." I reassured him, because I did understand. Sam had his fair share of sneaking out when he was growing up and it never got any easier. The only difference between Gabe and Sam was that Sam always left a note just in case.

"He's just never done this before, you know?" Castiel muttered, running a hand through his distressed dark hair. "Sure, we get into an argument every now and then but he never just up and leaves. He knows how worried I'd get. How hurt I'd be. Why would he leave, Dean? Why is he doing this to me?" The cup was shaking now, bits of coffee splashing onto his hands and leaving red marks on his skin from how hot it was. Cadtiel didn't seem to notice.

I quickly grabbed the cup and set it on the table. "Hey, don't do that. Don't freak out. We'll find him. Okay? Even if it takes all night." Benny would be pissed that I called in to work, but Castiel needed me and I'd be dammed if I left him suffering like this. "Why don't we call some of his friends? Maybe we can try his sponsor again?" I asked gently, but he was already shaking his head.

"We already tried that and they don't know anything."

"And you're sure there's no one else from AA?"