Within Their World

Ben Chooses

Ben's POV

         I've been on the run for a week now, I've barely sleep, haven't eaten and my body is only now healing form what happened.

         I'm not sure what I'm running from anymore. Maybe it's the monsters that haunt my dreams. Maybe it's the skeletons that refuse to stay in the closest, coming out at night to whisper in my ear. Maybe it's away from those cold red eyes that I know are still out there.

         Whatever it is that I'm running from, I'll keep doing so until I feel safe.

         Even if it's only a temporary version of it.

         Tonight I find myself in a motel right off the highway the curtains drawn and all the l ima in the door in place.

           I left my phone and car in Kaulike, not wanting to bring anything from that place with me to remind me of what I have going on. Of what I'm running away from. So instead, I am drinking a rental and I won't buy a new phone until I get to where I'm going, wherever that is.

          I miss my friend Thomas.

          I hate what I did to him.

          I miss my sister.

          I'm sorry that I didn't get there in time.

          If someone asked me if I could go back in time to change everything that happened, would I, my answer would be I don't know. Not because I like what happened or even the fact that what I think wasn't that bad. Because it was. It was terrible and it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

           But I wouldn't go back and change it for three reasons the first one being, as bad as you think what your going through is and how much you hate your situation, there's always worse. At here will always be worse, and it would have happened to me with my luck. The second reason why I wouldn't go back in time is because of Thomas. Even if I hadn't ended up with that bastard that took everything from me, Thomas would have still be kidnapped. And this time, there might not have been anyone to save him.

            And the last most precious reason of why I am not quite sure of I would change the past so the baby growing in my stomach. The one who got caught between us.

             I'm not sure how I feel about the life growing inside of me. I'm not even sure how that man, that bile creature could even create life without tainted it, but he did. And this baby is caught up in the middle of a war that they didn't even sign up for. I want to hate the child that's sharing a body with me at the moment. I want to curse it and but it up for adoption and forget about it. But I also know it's not the babies fault that their father was who he was.

              I don't really know what I'm going to do with the baby yet.

             I'm still struggling to go about my day without thinking about that room I was stuck in, the screams from the basement, the tears that burned the cuts along my face.

             Thomas got all the physical scars, the ones that you can't turn your head and look away from. And to pair with it he got physical trauma as well. And though I love him, and he saved me countless of times, even more so than what I told him, he's lucky.

            Silas never wanted to scar me, only hurt me. When he cut it was shallow and smooth before my tears came to hurt them.  If I refused to cry he made his own salt water to pout into my words, dabbing it with a washcloth into my skin because I didn't know te answers to the questions he gave me.