Rose | KSJ ✔️

3, maybe Ill stay.

I woke up in the hospital, of course. I hate it here.

Jin was sitting beside me, sleeping with his head on the bed.

I grab his hand playing with his fingers, out of boredom. After a while of playing with his fingers he finally looks up.

He lays his chin on his arm. "Do my fingers look weird?" I look at them again. "No" I shake my head "They look good." I say grabbing his hand in mine.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He says softly. I knew what he was talking about so I stayed silent.

"The doctor said there is a 19% chance for you to live." I look up at him with teary eyes.

"How'd it get this bad?" That's it, I break into tears.

He stands up and hugs me. He stays there for a while until he crawls into my hospital bed.

I lay there crying into his shoulder. 'You're being weak.' I say over and over in my head. After awhile I was able to control my tears.

Jin lets go of me and sits back on the chair and watched me explain. I looked down at my hand that was holding his.

"M-my mom had lung cancer. She smoked a lot around me causing me to get it, she will tell me to get something out of the trunk and then let the diesel exhaust blow smoke at me! She did everything to make me get as bad as her!" I played with Jin's hand to keep me distracted while explaining "And she kept it a secret from everyone and lied to me that the symptoms were normal. She didn't want to suffer alone.. so she let mine get worse.." tears started forming.

"a year ago she passed away, and I finally t-told my grandma my s-symptoms.. but you k-know how rare it is for my age to get lung cancer.. I'm so unlucky." I mumble the last part, trying to keep my tears in. I've never told anyone this, I lied to my grandmother that the symptoms just started. Now that she's gone I want to tell her everything.

"I'm so dumb! How did I not notice until now!" I say sobbing.

He strokes my hair. "You'll get through this." He lifts my head for me to look at him. "I love you, Rosann." He cupped my face and gave me a slow and gentle kiss.

December 2 , 2011.
If I could go back in time I would have done this a long time ago. I would've fought to live.

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