Don't look back

Chapter 2

Waking up the next morning, my eyes are puffy and red rimmed. When I got to mum's last night I just broke down. She tried to console me but she knows how hard it is. My dad cheated on my mum for years. When she finally grew the backbone she needed and kicked him out, no one could console her. She knows my pain in more ways than one.

Mum- "Lulu hunny, your phone has been ringing non-stop"

Lucille- "I'll be there in a minute mumma. I just need......."

Mum- "Take your time precious. I'll be here when you need me ok?"

Lucille- (sniffles) "thank you mumma"

When I had thought I had no more tears. When I thought my tear ducts were dryer than the Sahara, the water works start again.

I can't breathe. My chest is tightening and my vision is blurring. I sit on the edge of my bed, bend at my hips and put my head in-between my legs. I try and calm myself down remembering the methods for controlling panic attacks.

I haven't had a panic attack in years. They stopped when I met Adam, he helped me so much in my life and now he has ruined me.

30 minutes later I am finally pulling myself up off the bed and making my way out to the kitchen for a much-needed coffee. The taste of the coffee is settling my stomach. At least I know coffee won't cheat on me.

I pick up my phone off the counter. 23 missed calls from Adam, 14 from Amy. 52 unread texts from Adam. I pull up his contact details and press the little green call button. He answers on the second ring

Adam- PC- "Lucille where are you"

Lucille- PC- "It doesn't matter where I am. I'll be back this weekend the grab the rest of my stuff. Lose my number. You have already broken my heart so I don't need anything else from you"

Adam- PC- "It was an accident Luce"

Lucille- PC- "What? Did you trip and accidentally stick your cock in my ex-best friend. You are full of shit Adam. That was no accident"

Adam- PC- "Luce please lets talk about this"

Lucille- PC- "What was it you said. Oh that's right. You are so much tighter than Luce. Yeah no thanks. You can take your bullshit and shove it up your fucking arse. I hate you and I never and I mean never want to see, hear, feel or anything from you ever. I'm done Adam. You fucked up boy. Royally"

I hang up the phone and send a text to Amy

Lucille- Text- Amy, I didn't realise you were that fucking jealous of my relationship that you had to go and stick your claws into my husband. Lose my fucking number. I am no longer someone to you and I hope you are happy with yourself. But you fucking my husband makes me think of how many couples come to see you for their marriages. How many of those clients have you fucked. You are nothing but a dirty cheap whore and I never ever want to hear from you again. You fucked up not only a marriage but a friendship too. I hope you are happy with yourself. You are a slut and I hope nothing good ever comes to your life because you do not deserve it.

My blood is boiling with anger. Amy wrote back to me saying that she is very happy with what she had done. Fuck her. I don't think her boss would be happy with the email I am drafting up.

Yes, I know this has only just happened but I am someone who can't sit and wallow in self-pity. I need to keep going. I have already called my boss telling him I won't be in the office for a few weeks. He was happy for me to take time off as long as my work was being completed. The next call is to my insider in the force. I meet up with him normally once a week for more information. Agent Z is what he is known as in my stories