my sweet escape. park jihoon

14

•••

CHAPTER.14
ELEANOR

"Gets mo na?" diin na tanong ni Jihoon sa akin, pagkaturo niya sa akin ng topic namin sa Calculus.

Almost two weeks ko ng tutor si Jihoon.. It's also almost a week since I started giving him a cold shoulder. He's still the same, he's still cheerful and annoying, like always. It took him days to find out that I was being cold to him. He was confused.. but so was I. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi  ko siya pinapansin. I tried to think why am I like this to him? 

No. I don't like him.

He's just a tutor.

We were having the session at Starbucks, for the first time. Sarado pa kasi yung library for some reason. There are a lot of school events after exams, kaya kailangan ko nang maghanda. If I actually ace this exam, my mother and I's relationship will be fixed. Unless.. she's going to be a bitch about it and would want me to do better.

Hay, I'm just hoping to be done with these exams, so that I could feel free for a moment. Walang performance tasks, walang quizzes, walang schoolworks, that would be the perfect day for me.

Last night, I really didn't sleep well dahil sa sobrang daming nirereview ko, parang sasabog na yung utak ko. Hindi ko na kaya. Puro  kape na lang ata laman ng katawan ko, nakakaloka.  

Nakakapagod nang mapagod. 

"6:20 na, tara na." nakabakas sa boses ko ang lamig na tono. Tumayo kaagad ako nang marinig ko ang alarm mula sa cellphone ko. I fixed my stuff while Jihoon helped me.

"Tulungan na kita." alok niya.

"No, I can handle this." I told him, carrying the stack of books na sobrang bigat na para bang gawa sa bato.

"Fuck." I groaned, struggling to carry my books all at once. 

"I can handle this," he mocked my voice.

Kinuha niya lahat ng librong hawak ko at biglaang gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. I looked at him and he didn't even look like he was struggling. Well, of course it wouldn't be a problem, he's much taller and stronger than me.

"You don't have to help me." I told him, trying to take it back but he gripped onto it tighter. 

He held it tighter, like it was secured to him. He stared at me for a while. Kumunot ang noo ko at tinitigan ko din siya. He was looking at me like he was trying to find answers, and I have nothing else to say. I just want to get to class na, baka ma-late pa ako because of him.

"Ba't mo ba pinipilit? Alam naman natin na hindi mo kayang buhatin 'to ng mag-isa." I could hear the annoyance in his voice. 

I must be so annoying, then.

"I didn't ask for your help!" bulyaw ko sa kanya. Thankfully, my voice was too soft for the whole coffee shop to hear.

He scoffed, "Sige nga, sino tutulong sa'yo?"

"I can carry it nga, diba?"

"Kaya ba natataranta ka habang buhat mo 'to?!" He shot back.

"E, ba't mo pa rin ako tinutulungan, kung naiinis ka na?!" Iritang pananalita ko.

"Wala kong sinasabing naiinis ako!" depensa niya.