TaeKook One Shots

Space Between (Part 3)

Part 3/5

A/N: Expect long narrations because this part revolves on Taehyung's journal.

Third Person's POV

To lose someone so precious to you brings an indescribable feeling to one's life. People have tried to contain this feeling in one word and that is 'pain' but even the word itself is not and will never be enough to explain just how immensely it hurts.

It's not just pain that swallows you whole but different waves of emotions also hit you like a ginormous tidal wave and drowns you into a slow and dreadful death. Such emotions are regret, longing, frustration, anger, and confusion.

In the two months that had passed, Jungkook had felt these emotions simultaneously or in certain days he feels them all together. Regret for the things he could've said and done towards Taehyung. Longing for the cheerful presence of his best friend. Frustration for not having any capacity to change the reality. Anger towards himself for not being able to do anything in the past to save Taehyung and confusion as to why all of these had happened.

"I'm glad you were able to drop by Jungkook. It's been awhile since we've seen each other," Jin greeted after he opened the door and saw Jungkook.

Jin showcased a smile but just as always, it didn't reach his eyes. The last time Jungkook had seen Jin was during Taehyung's funeral. Jungkook took pity on the older male, having little knowledge of what Jin must have been going through as well. One glance at the tired face and bloodshot eyes of the older and Jungkook can easily tell that Jin hasn't finished mourning for the loss of his younger brother as well.

"What brought you here Jungkook?" Jin asked after he had ushered Jungkook inside the house and both of them were seated.

Jungkook glanced around the house and he felt a stinging pain on his heart. This place was where Taehyung grew up and this house used to be filled with the brunette's laughters. Jungkook blinked away the tears and maintained his composure.

"These past few months..." Jungkook started, voice soft but heavy with emotions. "I've been caught up with the grief of what happened. Day in and day out... my mind is only filled with... with T-Taehyung's memories and how bad it hurts that he's no longer here."

Jin nodded understandably, knowing full well what Jungkook has experienced for he has gone through the same.

"But lately, I've moved past it," Jungkook continued while he clasped his hands together. "Don't get me wrong hyung, I'm still not over it and it still hurts greatly. The pain hasn't subside nor did it become less. But I'm through with crying endlessly. This time, I want answers."

Jin let out a huge breath. "What do you mean Jungkook?"

Jungkook looked at Jin with a steely resolve on his eyes. "I have continued with the routine of my life but in everything I do, I find my mind brimming with the question 'why'. That's all I could ever think about. Why did Taehyung do what he did? What pushed him to do it? Why didn't I see it coming? What could I have done to save him? Was I..."

Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat as tears blurred his vision. Jin did not make a single sound, allowing the younger to let every thoughts and emotions he has out.

"Was I not good enough? Was I not enough to make him stay? Did I not give him enough reason to keep fighting?"

"Jungkook, I also have no answer to these questions but I can say for certain that you're not to be blamed here. This isn't your fault and I don't think Taehyung would want you to punish yourself over something that you had nothing to do with," Jin said gently, eyes soft towards the younger boy.