New Jersey Boys

"Sometimes it's hard to face reality." -Alejandro

⚠️TW: self harm, abuse, addiction, and suicidal thoughts and actions⚠️

KairiXAlejandro

Kairi's POV:

Alejandro hasn't been answering any of my texts or calls. We were supposed to hangout today with the boys. I was gonna pick him up but he never answered me when I said I was leaving. At first I didn't think much of it so I got in my car and told him I was on my way. When I pulled up to his house, I texted him to tell him I was outside.

That was 10 minutes ago.

I texted the other boys to see if they had been able to get ahold of him.

They hadn't.

So I decided I had had enough of waiting for his bitch ass to come out and instead went inside to drag him out of his house.

I walk inside and go up the stairs. I walk down the hall until I get to his bedroom. I go to open the door but it's locked.

"Alejandro. Open the fucking door. The boys are waiting for us." I say, knocking on the door.

I get no response, so I knock again. Still no response.

"Ale. If you don't open this fucking door I'll break it down and tell your mom it was your fault." I say. He still doesn't respond, so I do what any person in my situation would do. I kicked the door until it opened.

I walk inside and see him on his bed, laying down with a blade in one hand, cuts on his other arm, an unopened pill bottle next to him, empty beer bottles on his floor and bed, and a wax pen and novo in his other hand.

I can feel my heart break in my chest.

I run over to him and shake him awake. As soon as he sees me, he looks confused.

"What happened?" He asks. "I don't fucking know Ale. I had to break your door to get in here. What the fuck Alejandro. You promised me you wouldn't cut anymore." I say, starting to get pissed off that he broke our promise. "It was a stupid promise Kairi." He says with no emotion whatsoever.

"And what about the wax pen, novo, and beer bottles? Hmmm? I thought you were gonna quit." I say. "I...I'm...I'm trying...I really am Kai. Please believe me. It's just hard. But I promise I'm trying my hardest to stop" He says. "Why is it so hard to stop though Ale!? It shouldn't be this fucking hard to stop. You've been "trying" to stop for months and every time I think you've got it, you go and do this!" I yell.

He looks up at me. "Sometimes it's hard to face reality." He mumbles. "What are you talking about Alejandro?" I ask confused. "Ya know. You've never asked me why I started smoking, drinking, and cutting. Maybe if you had, you'd realize why it's so hard to quit." He says. "Okay. Why did you start?" I ask.

"Because Kairi. It's hard to face reality. Being drunk or high is way easier than being sober. I don't have to feel the pain of everything going on in life. And when I was sober, cutting was another way to take the pain away. But of course you wouldn't fucking understand that because you're Mr. Perfect. You have to have straight A's. You can never do wrong. That's why when we go to parties you don't smoke or drink, right?" Alejandro says.

"Actually Alejandro, I know exactly what that's like. The reason I don't drink or smoke at parties is because I don't wanna fall back into my old habits. Do you even know why I moved here Sophomore year? It was because I got expelled from my old school for always being late to class, getting in fights, and coming to class drunk or high. I wasn't a good kid before I met you and the boys. I hated myself so much that I tried everything to become a different person just to take the pain away. When I came to New Jersey, it was a fresh start. I struggled to be sober for a while, until I met you. That's why when I found out you were smoking, drinking, and cutting I wanted you to stop. I don't want you going down the same path I did. I O.D. several times. I tried to kill myself multiple times. For me it started with drinking, then I went to smoking, and before I knew it I was poppin pills in the school bathroom. My life in California was complete shit. I was in a physically, emotionally , and sexually abusive relationship. I thought my parents hated me. I thought I was the reason they got a divorce, which then made me believe that I fucked up Maiya's life. The reason I have to have straight A's is because that's the only way colleges will even consider me. I basically failed my Freshman year. I had like a 0.8 GPA. I had to retake basically all of my classes in summer school. So Alejandro. The reason I have to be "Mr. Perfect" is because if I'm not, I'll end up going down the path I used to be going down. I can't fucking do that to my mom again. She tried to kill herself because of what I was doing. She thought it was her fault. So if you wanna keep going down this road because you're life is so fucked up according to you, be my guest. But I'm not gonna fucking be apart of that. Just remember that your mom and stepdad love you. Nano loves you to death. The boys love you. The supporters love you. What would people think if they found out this is what you've been doing when you go "camping? Huh?" I yell. He just looks up at me with tears in his eyes.

"How come you never told any of us Kai?" He asks, voice cracking. "Because Alejandro. That's not something I want to share with people. I don't want people to look at me differently because of what's happened. I'm not the same person I was. Going through that made me who I am. If I had never been the person I was in Cali, I wouldn't be the person I am in Jersey." I say.

"I'm sorry." He whispers after a couple of minutes of silence. "Why are you sorry bub?" I ask. "Because I'm going down this path. I don't want to. I want to stop. It's just hard." He says. "Trust me bubs. I know it's hard to stop. But I promise you, I can help you. You don't know this, but you're the reason I stopped going down that path. Let me help you stop just like you helped me." I say. "Okay." He says.

And with that we start picking up his room, throwing away his blade, pills, wax pen, novo, and all the beer bottles.

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A/N
Okay. So I'm actually kinda proud of this one. It was not supposed to be as sad as it was but I mean all I really write is sad shit so🤷🏼‍♀️. I'm still working on the smut oneshot I've been working on for like 2 months so we'll see how that turns out. I hope you guys liked this one. Also I don't know if all the details in this are right or not but it's fine.
-BreeLyn