The Last Five Years ✔~ trixya

Still Hurting

Present day

It had been a gloomy day, but Trixie was still unsuspecting when she entered her apartment near Central Park, that was until she noticed all the lights being off and a letter that layed on her wife's desk by the window. 

She has been staring at it for too long, she knows that, but the words have yet to sink in properly.

Dear Trixie.

I called Fena to help me pack my bags.
I went downtown and closed the bank account.
It's not about another shrink, and it's not about another compromise.
I'm not the only one who's hurting here, and I just don't know what the hell there's left to do. You never saw how far the crack had opened, you never knew I had run out of rope. And I could never rescue you, no matter how much I tried. 

All I could do was love you, and God, I loved you, but now I have to let you go.
We can fight more, we can wait longer, or I can go now, and that's what I'm choosing to do.

Goodbye, Trixie.

- Katya

Katya.

Katya is over and Katya is gone.
That there is no doubt about.
She has new dreams to follow whilst Trixie is left in their apartment, still hurting.

Katya always was convinced that all their problems could be blamed on Trixie, somehow everything turned out to be her fault. So maybe she's feeling just fine now that the brown eyed girl is gone from her life?

"What about lies, Katya? What about everything you swore to be true? What about everything you did? What about you?" Trixie whispers to herself angrily as she circles the apartment with the letter in hand.

Katya's the one who had all the secrets, why does she get to decide what marks their ending?
Why is Trixie once again the one left hurting?

"Fine, Katya, go and hide. Run away and find something better. Run away like it's simple, like it's somehow right.." She says spitefully through her tears. She sinks down on the cold floor, it seeming like the only thing holding her together as she thinks through everything that went wrong in their relationship.

"If you had given me a chance to understand, see what I did that was so awful, maybe I'd see how you could be so certain that we had no chance... at all." Trixie tells the letter, as if she's speaking to the woman directly, even tho she knows that Katya has likely already moved on.

Where can she go now?
Where can she turn?

Katya has covered her in scars she did nothing to earn, and yet here she sits, broken and bruised.

"Maybe there's a lesson somewhere in this..." She whispers as the letter slips out of her hands, her arms wrapping themselves around her legs, that she has brought close to her chest.

But no lesson will change the fact of Katya leaving.
Nor speed the time of Trixie's healing.

Not when everything they have built for the last five years is gone.