Lost Beyond Solace

00:85

21st of November 2018, Wednesday
Fortune Island, Batangas

V I C T O R I A

Final stop.

I was staring at the bonfire in front of me, Ate Mayen was taking a walk for a minute because she received a call.

So I was alone.

A cold breeze was touching my face. It was already sunset and all I can hear was the sound of the waves, even the burning of the wood.

I then found myself looking up at the sky, admiring the stars. I smiled to myself upon remembering all the places I went and why I went there until here in the first place.

It was because of him.

For Manu.

Gustong-gusto niyang pumunta ng ibang bansa pero gusto niya rin mag-travel dito sa Pilipinas. So, we planned to go to places here in our country that have foreign vibes.

Coron as Vietnam, Puerto Prinsesa as the Maldives, Baguio as North America, Vigan as Spain, and lastly — here at Batangas as Greece.

We planned this trip ever since we were in college. We both want to see the world or at least the whole Philippines. We were already sick at that time and we were just both distracting ourselves from the sadness that is trying to engulf us.

We succeeded though.

At least for a while.

Because Manu retreated. He knew already that he will. Before, I felt bad that he didn't even tell me anything about what he was feeling.

He made me feel that I can't help him.

But after going through this travel.

I am slowly accepting the fact that Manu didn't tell me anything not because he doesn't want my help or that I can't help him.

Hindi niya sinabi sa'kin kasi alam na niya kung ano talaga yung kailangan niya, yung gusto niya. Ang kaso, alam niyang masasaktan kami roon.

Kaya kahit kay Tito Emman, hindi niya rin sinabi.

"Uy."

Ate Mayen caught my attention as she walks towards me. Naupo siya sa kabilang kahoy habang isinisilid sa bulsa ng coat niya yung phone niya.

"Lalim yata ng iniisip mo ah," dagdag pa niya.

Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya. Sa tagal namin magkasama, may mga moments pa rin talaga na nahihiya ako sa kanya.

"Hindi naman Ate," sabi ko na lang. "Huli na kasi 'to." Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at bumaling sa apoy na nasa harap namin.

Katahimikan ang bumalot sa aming dalawa.

"Let's not hope that is the last," she said. "And, by the way, Tori," she paused. "Thank you."

I immediately look at her. She was already looking at me though, with a smile plastered on her face.

"For what?" I asked.

Between the two of us, ako dapat yung magpasalamat sa kanya. She did nothing but to tour me all around, to take care of me even. Everyday, she never failed to remind me about the food that I'm not allowed to eat and the medicines I should take.

So, why is she thanking me?

"Well..." She began. "I haven't told you this before but, ever since Javi met you, he suddenly shifts to his old self." She smiled and gazed at the bonfire. "He... He even agreed to do his surgery today."

My brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry, what?" I absentmindedly asked. "Surgery?" I repeated.

Agad na napatingin sa akin si Ate Mayen, gulat na gulat at nagtataka.

"Didn't... Didn't he tell you?"

"Tell me... what?"

"Oh my God," she mumbled, covering her face using her hands. She stayed like that for a minute before she turns to me again. "I-I... I didn't know. I thought..." she stuttered.

I gulped. My heart beats so widely. A lot of things are going in my head, I couldn't control them.

"Let's go home," I told her.

That was the only thing that is clear to me.

I want to go back. I have to.

I began to pack my things, I was trying to be calm. Really, I was.

"Tori, nandoon naman sila Mama. Don't worry." She tried to stop me from packing.

Humarap ako sa kanya bago ako bumuntong-hininga.

"Please?" I pleaded.

"How about this trip? This is your last stop," she reminded me.

I smiled at her even though I'm on the verge of tearing up.

"Well, I guess... Javi's my last destination."