Transparent

(13) ; Pit - A - Pat

Krystal sighed in content when her back meets the plush, soft, mattress. It has been a long weekend for her, from the catching the flight, to rehearsals and finally going through the SMTOWN Japan concert itself for three consecutive nights.

Being busy doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing, - after what happened to her it was best if she kept herself away from her thoughts as frequent as possible. One more second into deep-thinking and she would marvel her way back to questioning her "self-worth" after what had happened.

That's the thing about trauma.

Trauma is not born only after big incidents like a car crash or murder. Even an assault like that is enough to traumatise a person for a very long time.

So Taehyung kept her busy. He read up a lot about sexual harassment, what it meant to the victim, and how to help the victim to overcome it. He tried his very best to keep her mind steered away from thinking about it, by constantly texting her, wanting to know where she was and what she was currently doing.

Taehyung didn't meant to come off clingy, but being an active recording artist meant that he can't be with her in person 24/7. He can't always be there by her to protect her.

But Krystal didn't find him suffocating at all, for he left her short, adorable texts that would immediately make her want to reply him right back, on the dot. In fact, if anything she felt accompanied, and cared for, and she liked the attention that he was giving her.

The sound of laughters from the living room en suite pulls Krystal away from her daydream about a particular boyband member. She chuckled to herself and sat up, hovering over her stomach to catch a glimpse at what her Luna unnie and Amber unnie was doing, though she'd never call Amber unnie, ever, cause yucks. Haha.

Seeing them both laughing so carefree like that reminded her of the past three days she spent on the stage as an idol.  Indeed, it has been a long time since she's stood on the stage ... and suddenly Krystal remembers what it feels like to be one. She misses it, - the whole package.

The thrill of performing, the anxiety before it and the relief once you put on your best show and it's all over. Performing had always been like a drug for her, something she couldn't let go of, but now, she has come to terms that yes maybe, just maybe, her time as an idol is almost over.

The feeling was blissful, but all good things will have to come to an end.

This was probably her last time on stage, - their last time on stage. Luna and Amber was leaving the company, Victoria too, and that only meant one thing: these three could no longer perform under the name f(x).

As she dulled over the fate of them four, Krystal wonders how Sulli was doing. She must have missed performing too. Maybe that's why she came up with an album this year. It's been a long time since Krystal last hung out with her.

There had been occasional chats between them two, - Sulli and her are still close despite having left the group in 2014. They trained together ... debuted together. Not even the company can cut off a strong bond like theirs. Once her two upcoming movie shoots are over, she'd meet up with Sulli, hopefully.

Krystal's eyes were slowly getting droopier ... eyes falling, the blinking slowly comes to a stop. It was quiet and still in her room for some time, her breathing being the only audible sound in the room.