one night in coruscant || obikin

23.

As that last thought rung in my ears, strangely loud, I buried my freezing hands in the pockets of my cloak. As I looked down, about to leave, he stirred- to my alarm- and slowly blinked open his eyes, slanting his head when he noticed me standing there. I tried, panicking, to somehow exit the room, and his angelic voice spoke groggily; dreamily. "What's that Master?"

Realizing with steadily increasing alarm that I had thought out loud- again- I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose in irritation at myself, then looked up towards the ceiling to avoid his eyes. A lie slithered into my mind, and I recited it aloud to him. "Nothing, sorry to wake you. I, ah, thought there was an... intruder in your room, but I guess not."

I looked down, scrutinizing his reaction, wondering whether or not this appeased him. He gave me a blank, vacant, vaguely confused expression in return, so I continued. "Sorry... you had finally gone to sleep. I'll be going now..." Somewhat failing to hide the bittersweet edge from my voice, I turned and began to walk away again, but he rustled, and I felt his hand grab at my wrist, fingers closing around the bare skin which usually hid beneath my gauntlets. My pre-existing bewilderment increased as I received his next words.

"Hey, stay please?"

What? why..?

"Why, Anakin?"

"Because I need you," The words sounded very blatant, truthful, but I gave him a unconvinced look. "...here." he added, but I was still unconvinced. "Can't sleep well. Stay with me, come here." As his hand patted the space beside him, I sensed that he was confident I would listen- that I would stay- and this both irritated me and nearly made me smile at the same time. I pictured myself sleeping again in his arms- as I truly wanted to- and took a step towards his bed.

Then, as I was about to regress into my old habit, the oath I had sworn in this very room, only moments earlier, echoed in my head. I stopped, nearly recoiling from him. "Master?" He questioned, and I stiffened.

"No, Anakin." Ducking my head, eyes closing with the effort of controlling myself, my voice broke. No. this will not happen again. Turning to hide the expression on my face, I struggled to move away from the bed, but Anakin spoke firmly from behind me, his grip tightening.

"Yes." At his contradictorily affirmative statement, my eyebrows raised, and he tugged twice at my arm. As much as I wanted to accept his request, I repeated the horrible pledge in my mind, checking my shields. No more of this. It must stop, now.

"Anakin, it isn't necessary. You... don't need me anymore." Admitting this aloud, a pang of manic sadness pierced my chest, the crack only growing wider inside my heart. I looked away, not wanting to make eye contact with him. Through the force, I felt Anakin prodding my mental wall to get inside my mind, and I only tightened my shields in response. I tried to wipe the emotion from my voice, and spoke coldly.

"You just proved you can sleep perfectly fine on your own..." He didn't seem convinced, so I gestured at him, and then myself with my free arm while I continued. "You don't need me here." Every time those words left my mouth it felt as though I was driving a knife even father into my chest. Anakin shuffled around, reddening slightly at my comment. I heard him mumbling something.

"What's that, Anakin?" I snapped at him, and he simply shook his head, muttering a 'never mind' and dropped my wrist, finally, before rubbing his neck dejectedly. Ducking my head again, I sighed sadly, and went to exit, murmuring a farewell. "Goodni-" I started, but trailed off as I looked up, startled. Somehow, he was on his feet, out of bed, standing in front of the door.

My irritation grew, and I rolled my eyes. How am I supposed to stay away from him if he won't even let me?

"Ani, let me out please. I'm tired." A weary sigh left my mouth, and I placed my hands on my hips in a pathetic effort to look commanding. Shrugging as he shook his head no, he stepped towards me- his natural unyielding aura of unshakeable determination somehow coming through in this odd situation- and kept walking towards me, closer, closer... causing me eventually to back away from the door like he wanted. When finally the foot of his bed bumped the back of my legs and prevented me from retreating any farther from him, I planted my feet, crossing my arms across my chest, my face mustering the best 'stern master' expression that it could.