"Good evening and I welcome you all tonight!" Anne greeted. "I'm Anne Boonchuy and you are watching Toon Cable News. For our first story we go over to the UG-RV where Uncle Grandpa inexplicably ate an entire tank. Yes, you heard me right; an ENTIRE tank. Here with us tonight is Uncle Grandpa himself."
She then turned to a screen which came on to show the magical weirdo.
"Good morning!" He greeted cheerfully.
"I'm speaking for our viewers when I ask why did you do such a thing?" Anne asked, dumbfounded.
"Well, the doctor said I had an iron deficiency so decided to start with some utensils and then go for a few doorknobs, but nothing really beats a tank." He explained as he licked his lips at the thought.
"Wow." Anne gulped. "How was it even done?"
"Well done with some mixed veggies."
Anne turned to the camera with an bemused expression on her face.
"Is this guy making a fool of me?" She asked.
Uncle Grandpa suddenly took the microphone above him and took a huge bite out of it. Anne's eye's widened at the sight while Uncle Grandpa gave a thumbs up as he chewed. A few seconds later, the feed was cut. She then cleared her throat.
"Why do we even question his logic anymore?" Polly asked off-screen.
"I don't know." Anne sighed in response before throwing a paper behind her. "Moving on. Over in San Francisco, the son of a tech billionaire, Barry Charles and the Techies Gang have just been convicted on charges of attempted terrorism, attempted larceny, harassment and several accounts of jaywalking. ever single member of the organization been sentenced to a minimum 30 years each without a chance of parole. To learn more, we head over with Sprig Plantar. You're up, buddy. Give us the scoop."
We then cut to to Sprig who is currently in front of a courthouse/
"Thanks, Anne and wow! So this is what a human city looks like!" Sprig marveled.
"Focus, dude!" Anne reminded him via his earpiece.
"Right. As you can see right here, the trial has just ended and things have pretty bad for for these guys. And look! There they are being loaded into van to face face their sentences. Now, we weren't able to to get Barry's father to show up, but we do have someone who had a bone to pick with him and decided to speak out tonight."
With that, Ice Bear came into frame as Sprig held up his mic to him.
"Mr. Ice Bear, from what we've heard, you've got quite the history with him care to explain?" The frog asked the polar bear
"Barry tried to steal Ice Bear's roomba." He droned in his usual monotone voice.
"Interesting." Sprig noted as Grizz and Panda walked up. "Well, here we have his older brothers to give us their opinions. What do you think of all this?"
"He never told us anything about this." Panda expalined.
"We're just glad our little bro is safe." Grizz added.
"And there you have it, everyone." Sprig concluded. "If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get my own smartphone."
"I know the perfect place." Panda beamed before we cut back to the studio.
"Thank you, Sprig." Anne replied. "And now, let's go over to Polly for the sports report."
"My time to shine!" Polly cheered as she back flipped in her bucket. "Going to Transylvania, it's a FIERCE game of football between the Creeps and Shrieks as you can see here from the live feed. Look at Shrieks cornerback Felix McDecay and he throws it! It's an easy touchdown for the shrieks and he threw it so hard, I don't even no where it went!"
Suddenly, 'ball' came flying into the studio and hit Polly in the face, knocking her over and spilling her bucket. She groaned in pain until she got a look of what the ball really was.
"Oh wow. They use an actual disembodied foot. Cool!" She marveled. "Back to you, Anne! Can I get a refill over here?"
"Great reporting, Polly." Anne praised. "Barometers have been falling all over the place due to the recent surge in storms."
Before she could say anything else, a large barometer fell out of nowhere and onto her hand, causing her to scream in pain. She clutched her hand as she sneered.
"Oh, ha. Barometers falling." Anne said sarcastically. "Where'd that even come from?! Anyway, to learn more, we go to Hop Pop."
"Hey, how do I read this dang map?" Hop Pop asked.
"Just read the teleprompter. You'll be fine." Sprig assured over the earpiece.
"Alrighty then." He said as he straightened up. "As you can see here, various places in the multiverse have been struck with hurricanes, typhoons or whatever you call them where you live, some going up to 198 mph!. From Pure Heart Valley to Wartwood, I advise to all to seek shelter immediately. Was that good?"
"Pretty good." Anne said as thunder boomed outside. "Woah, that storm must be getting close!"
Just then, Sprig ran inside, completely soaked as he slammed the door behind him.
"No kidding!" He panted. "Wonder how strong this'll be?"
"I don't think we have to find out." Hop Pop gulped.
"Why?" Polly asked.
"Because according to this, the storm heading straight for us is a category 5!" He explained. "I don't what that means, but that sound harrowing."
Suddenly, the walls of the studio were torn apart by the storm. Everyone screamed as they ran in an attempt to find shelter.
"THIS IS ANNE BOONCHUY WITH TOON CABLE NEWS REALLY WISHING WE WERE SOMEWHERE EEEEEEEEEEELLLLSSSSSSE!" Anne screamed as she and the Plantars were blown away by the storm.
