After the intro had played, the entire news studio was decorated pumpkins, black and orange streamers, cobwebs and fake monsters.
"Welcome and good evening to all Toon Cable News viewers!" Todd greeted. "I'm Todd Hayseed and will be your news anchor for tonight. For tonight's first story, we go to Swamp City. The local walking disaster that is Milo Murphy has gotten himself into one nutty situation when the Peterson Pistachio Packing Plant inexplicably exploded. Heh, try saying that five times fast. The explosion was felt for miles, sending pistachios flying everywhere."
As he finished the report, pistachios rained down upon him. Thought initially confused, the fox just shrugged and ate a few of them.
"Oh no, I'm allergic to nuts!" Lloyd whined off-screen as Todd continued to eat them.
"Let's move on. As Halloween approaches, the age-old suspicion of dangerous candy arises with it. For example, reports have been flying in from Duckburg to Great Lakes City about a new kind of danger: candy heavily laced with laxatives." Todd reported.
"Okay, that's not even a prank anymore. That should be a hate crime." Shawn remarked.
"Right? And I'm pretty sure a good portion of those kids aren't even potty-trained yet." Todd agreed. "To learn more, we go over to Joy who is in Great Lakes City right now."
With that, we cut to Joy who may or may not be slightly salty about being designated the field reporter.
"Thank you, Todd. I'm here right now with one of the residents of Great Lakes, Hector Casagrande." Joy said. "Tell me, Mr. Casagrande. Are you worried about the suspicion of laxative-laced candy this Halloween?"
"No, I just think this just one big fear-mongering scheme just so someone can get their 15 minutes of fame." Hector explained. "I just ate a bag of candy corn and I'm fine."
"I know journalists are supposed to be unbiased, but I'm gonna have to agree with him on this." Joy said. "I just had a bar of chocolate on the way here and nothing."
Suddenly, they both had an uncomfortable rumbling in their guts. They weren't so nonchalant now.
"Where's a bathroom?!" Joy asked frantically.
"It's my bathroom! I go first!" Hector replied as he dashed off.
"Hey! Have you not heard of ladies first?!" Joy barked at him as she chased after him and we cut back to the studio.
The incident left the studio in an awkward silence. It would've gone on longer had Todd not cleared his throat.
"Okay, we go to Shawn for the sports report." He announced.
"Thanks, bud." Shawn replied. "Well, the buckball championships have been fierce, but Equestria has narrowed it down to the respective teams of Manehattan and Cloudsdale. The team that wins this match will go on to take on the team of the Griffin Kingdom."
The donkey ducked under his desk and looked around in fear.
"What's wrong?" Todd asked.
"Sorry, it's just that... whenever some does this newscast, something is bad to happen. I mean for God's sake, you were showered with pistachios!" Shawn pointed out.
"Good point." Todd admitted as he ate another pistachio.
"Hopefully we don't jinx it." Shawn gulped as the live feed came on. "Anyway, let's go to the game."
While he was was talking, one of the players, Quaker, bucked the ball so hard it flew out of sight, as seen on the feed. As soon as he finished, the ball came flying in and hit Shawn in the gut, knocking him to the floor.
"Shawn!" The fox cried.
"I'm fine. Let's just go to Lloyd for the weather report." Shawn wheezed.
When we cut to the to weather section, it was completely empty and the nerdy sheep was nowhere to be found.
"Where's Lloyd?" Shawn wondered.
"Yeah, he swallowed a pistachio and had a severe reaction, so we had to take him to the hospital." A crew member explained.
"Okay, so who's gonna do the weather?" Shawn asked.
"Guess, we're doing it." Todd said getting up from his desk and pulling Shawn from his own.
"Dude, we don't even know how to read the map. Lloyd does." The donkey said.
"It's fine, there's the teleprompter." Todd said. "For those living in Troughwater or Aberdale, you expect some high winds and dust devils, especially around noon and throughout the afternoon."
"Umm, down in Bikini Bottom there have been strange weather patterns and a phenomenon known as..." Shawn squinted at the word. "Oh, jeez, how do you pronounce this?"
"I don't know." Todd said. "And I'm not gonna try."
"I freaking hate English sometimes."
Suddenly, another ball came flying at them. They screamed and ducked just in the nick of time just as it hit and cracked the screen behind them.
"Close one." They sighed in relief.
Just then, they heard the screen start to creek behind them.
"I hate this running gag." Shawn said in a dry tone.
"Me too, buddy. Me too." Todd deadpanned in agreement.
And with that, it crashed on top of them. The monitor had claimed to more victims.
"Medic!" Todd cried.
