Instincts

Chapter four

Izaya laid there still unmoving, completely oblivious to the world around him.

Darkness was the only thing he saw. He thought he was dead, considered Shinra had told him he was dying and most likely wouldn't be alive to see tomorrow morning. But he was still thinking, which was a sign that he was, indeed, still alive. Through all the darkness he could hear someone. They were calling his name over and over again, in a hopeless manner. It sounded as if it coming from far away. He recognized the voice after a little bit of focused listening.

It was Shizuo's.

The one who saved him.

Izaya wanted badly to just wake up from this awful darkness and jump into the blonde man's arms. He never felt this way about anyone else. Izaya had so many trust problems that took years to build up and become so solid they were unbreakable. No one could even get close enough to know anything about him. Then Shizuo came along and knocked down all of Izaya's carefully constructed barriers like they were nothing.

It made Izaya curious.

Why did he want to be near Shizuo so badly? He had to admit when the blonde picked him up and carried him to the couch, he felt protected. That was a feeling he hadn't felt in quite awhile and it felt unbelievably good. The warm smile and protective feeling the man had given to him had made him feel strange. He couldn't quite describe it, but it was definitely there. Now all he could think about was being in the other's arms, feeling that protectiveness like before. It took over his mind like a virus takes over a computer and the darkness around him grew darker.

Shizuo kept shaking Izaya and calling his name, hoping that maybe he would hear it and wake up. The blonde felt his heart twist painfully every time he shook the raven and absolutely nothing happened. He wanted badly to see those auburn eyes look into his, to show him that everything was okay even though. . . it really wasn't.

"Izaya please, don't leave me. I barely got to know you. Come on, you're a dragon right? So fight! Dragons are strong, so you must be strong. P-please. . . W-wake up." Shizuo choked on more tears as he gently shook Izaya. The blonde held the raven close to him, as if it would bring him back.

He looked down at the man in his arms and sobbed. Shizuo honestly thought that Izaya was beautiful as a dragon and as a human. His eyes were like deep pools of red and his skin like a porcelain doll's. He looked fragile; as if Shizuo held him too tightly he might break. The bigger male kept holding the smaller, wanting badly to just go sit in a corner and cry. He repeated Izaya's name along with pleas of "wake up." If Izaya did wake up Shizuo wouldn't think twice about hugging the shit out of him.

Izaya kept hearing Shizuo's voice; which kept getting louder. The darkness around him continuing to get darker and darker. To other people that would mean death. But to Izaya, that meant one thing; he was changing again. Which was a really really bad thing. Whenever he changed he could never remember what happened. He also had no control over what he did. It was like someone took over his body whenever they wanted and did whatever they wanted. Except that someone was a dragon that just so happened to be a permanent part of a human.

Izaya could feel himself changing. It was quite a painful process; having shadows stretch your body and change you into a vicious beast that could easily kill anyone in a single bite. The raven-haired man hated it. But it was a part of him that he could never change. At times he wondered why he couldn't be a cat or dog or even one of those harpy things that were practically naked but at least a gentler species. Izaya was scared; what would he do when he fully changed? What if he wakes up? What if he makes his wounds worse? What if he kills himself in the process?

What if he hurts Shizuo?

That question made Izaya shiver. The last person he would want to hurt was Shizuo. And yet here he was; most likely going to kill the blonde the minute he wakes up.