Forever And A Day

Nine: The Present

I left the twins in charge  to keep the others busy in the bedroom the boys shared as I went back to where I'd left my parents to deal with Owen and Max.

My heart felt heavy with the guilt of being partially to blame for what had transpired between my brother and Max .

I should not have come to Seagull Bay . Max wouldn't have bothered to come either if it wasn't for me .

Yes ,our kids are here and yes, they are important ,but the fact that Max and I needed to talk and the fact that I keep refusing to speak to him was sort of the reason he came .

My feet dragged  as I entered the kitchen . I was still so exhausted that if I could lay down right there on the floor I would ,but I had unfinished business .

The kitchen was empty except for Max who sat on the chair I'd occupied earlier , nursing an ice pack against his jaw .

I wanted to do nothing but turn around and go because this scene reminded me awfully too much of the scene of the night before.

I didn't want to go through that again. Yet ,I would have to suck it up this once and talk to him .

With this resolve I walked over to him , reaching out to push his hand off the ice pack replacing it with one of my own .

Ignoring it that he now looked at me with his usual intense gaze I asked while keeping my eyes on my hands  " Are you alright ?".

" Seriously ,now you care ?. What do you even mean, Carly ?. Do you mean if I'm alright after getting socked in the jaw ?.Or do you mean if I'm alright after everything since yesterday?. Or.....".

His voice trailed off and all I could do was shrug . I myself didn't know why I asked that question . Years of hurtful emotions was bottled up inside of me and yet all I did was now for once be the better person . Or well, like my mother said once lesser person even if I don't understand it as well as I'd like .

My body tensed when Max's hand covered mine that held the ice pack .

His touch was gentle ,but strong . He always had a strong touch . It always amazed me that he held such strength in his body . It was appealing and amazing.

"Honestly, Carly, I don't know if I'm alright ", he said tiredly ," I know I've been a real jerk and I know that you're hurting ,but I ...I  ....I don't know how to handle this whole situation anymore . Ever since I got the news  I ... I couldn't sleep just thinking about how you were going to handle the news about Claire and well, what I've been holding a secret for so long . Although , actually it wasn't such a big secret . All you would've had to do was watch TV or open a magazine and  you would've known ... I guess I was counting on the fact that you didn't watch TV as much ,nor read magazines. I know other people knew about it and kept quiet ,but I didn't ask them to ,I swear. I think they probably thought of the children more than they've thought of how you'd feel.... I suppose I should've known that all my sins would come out one day ."

I was silent as I held the ice pack against his jaw . Those words of his didn't change anything . In fact it just made things a little bit more worse .

I tensed again when his other hand came up to grasp my hip .

" I'm sorry about last night . I was drunk and I know that, that's no excuse ,but I hope you believe me when I say that it won't happen again."

I didn't buy those words even if the apology comes as a surprise. Max is an actor . He can probably charm a brick wall out of giving him its cement .

His hand began to slowly stroke circles on my hip . The sensation of his warm hand through the fabric of my shirt was a dangerous thing. It could rob me of my sanity and caution any day . It also disgusted me because of his sexual escapades with Miranda.