Forever And A Day

Eleven: The Present

I stood under the shower of the ensuite bathroom between my and Owen's rooms , fuming .

I was being forced by my Mom to attend the funeral. To be frank I would've protested against it , but my Dad had cut in and asked me to take a walk with him to the garden. There he'd asked me nicely to do what my mother wanted me to do .

He told me to stop arguing because it was going to make me sick . He was also tired of all the arguments that hurt everyone especially the children who was really the innocent party in this whole fiasco.

He was calm as he spoke . Quite different than how my Mom treated the whole thing . My Dad was always like that when speaking to me and Owen . He was always gentle .

I felt like a bad human being for wanting to argue about everything .

" I know he hurt you ,Carly ,but you have to be understanding now and stand by him today because he's going to need you . I know that what he did was wrong and I think he knows it too . But you gotta be strong for him today . Show him how much you care about him . You have children . A life . You can't throw it away . Your mother said that you want to go away for awhile . Do that. Clear your mind . Then come home to your husband and children . Live your life then and forget the past ".

My Dad didn't really understand anything it seems . I couldn't live my life with Max anymore .

As I stood here under the shower I knew what I should do after the funeral .

I was going to ask Max for a divorce . I wasn't going to let others dictate my life anymore even if it disappointed some of them .

I would find a job . Somewhere to live . I will let the children decide for themselves where they wanted to live and if they choose me ,great , but if they don't ,I'll understand .

I just needed to get through today first then I can plan further .

I get out from under the shower only to find Max standing there , watching me . I realize too late that I hadn't locked the door . If I had he wouldn't have come in there .

" Your mother says that you're going ", he said ,his eyes looking up and down my body .

I felt violated and wanted to make him leave . Instead I grabbed a towel and started drying myself off .

" I'm glad you're coming with me ,Carly . I really appreciate it ".

I shrugged . What else was I supposed to do ?. I didn't want to talk to him right now .

He moved closer and I felt like running . I didn't want him to come near me . I still felt so .... I couldn't even voice it in my mind .

" Thank you ".

Those two words left his lips and I bit my tongue to not say anything back that would make things worse .

He was suddenly so near that if I moved I'd touch him . I didn't want that .

" I need to tell you something before we go and please keep an open mind ?. Don't get angry ,Okay?".

I nodded . It was useless to argue with him right now . Besides I was curious about what he wanted to say .

He took a deep breath before speaking calmly ,but as he spoke my blood pressure rose and I wanted to cry .

" The week before I came home Miranda and I had an argument about our relationship . She wanted us to be a family . She wanted me and her to get married . All these years she hadn't known that I was already a married man . I mean you and I had a quiet wedding with no Paparazzi to witness our union . I told her the truth about me and you and our children. She was furious . I felt so bad that I actually promised her that I would divorce you and marry her . Unfortunately when I got back to you ,you were so happy to see me . Seeing you happy I just couldn't find it in myself to hurt you like that ,so I ...I... I kept my mouth shut and tried to think of something that might appease Miranda . Then the accident happened and here we are , I didn't ask you for a divorce and Miranda's dead . Funny how life punishes you for all the things you've done wrong ,huh ?."