Forever And A Day

Seventeen: The Present

" When are you coming home,Mom ", my son Ro asked me after we've  exchanged our greetings .

I sighed and rubbed my temple at that . I was slowly getting a headache at this drama that doesn't want to end .

" I don't know ,Ro . I'm sorry . I just needed to get away for a bit. I'm staying with Aunty Bea for a few days . After that I don't really know where I'll be going . I'm truly sorry ,Ro. It wasn't my intention to hurt anyone . You have to believe me".

" Mom, it's okay . Really. Anyway Dad brought us home yesterday  if you want to know where we are . I didn't want to come home ,but school's starting again sometime soon anyway so I guess that ,that wasn't the wrong move on his part . Philip threw a huge tantrum yesterday and this morning because you didn't come with us . Dad was angry about that . He didn't yell or anything ,but you should've seen his face . Ray and I calmed Philip down ,but I'm sure that he'll be throwing another tantrum again  . The others are alright ,I guess. Anja don't want to speak of this whole situation that we're in right now and I suppose she won't be speaking about it soon . I just hope she doesn't take it out on Claire . It isn't Claire's fault, right?".

" No , Ro. It isn't Claire's fault . I'm sorry for leaving you and Ray to deal with this . I'm so proud of you two for being so grown up and responsible . Just know I love you . Each and every one of you . Don't give Dad too much grief,okay?. I know he deserves it ,but show him that you're the better person . Try to help him wherever you can . And be nice to Claire . She lost her Mom , remember ?. She needs all the support she can get . As her elder brothers it's your jobs . "

" We'll try ,Mom, but we can't make any promises . We love you too . Seriously , we do . Are you going to call Dad?.Or should I give the phone to him?. He's been trying to talk to you all day . "

I sighed again and said " No, Ro . I'm not up to talking to him yet . Just tell him that I called you ,okay?. I'm sure he'll understand . Anyway I have to go . I don't have anymore airtime . I'll go buy some tomorrow and then I'll call you or Ray , alright?. Love you ,Ro. Goodnight ".

" Goodnight ,Mom . Love you too. I'll wait for your call and I'll tell Dad ".

I ended the call feeling more miserable than I've ever had. The kids were trying to keep it together , but I could hear the hurt in my son's voice . They weren't really , truly, coping  . They were holding up a front for my sake .

My poor innocent babies were hurting and I was a coward  to have run away , leaving them to cope all on their own.

I'm a truly bad mother ,am I not?.

My cellphone beeped in my hand and I know that it was Max again.  I just know . I didn't have the strength to talk to him right now . I was tired .

I switched off my phone as I made my way back to the kitchen where Aunty Bea was busy making us  something to eat .Afterwards we'd probably watch some TV until bedtime.

" Did you call your Mom and Max?", Aunty Bea asked when I entered the kitchen .

I shake my head " No , Aunty . I called my son Ro . I'll call Max and my Mom tomorrow . "

" Alright then we'll eat and you can go do whatever you want afterwards . "

I smiled at her. She understood me more than she let on . I suppose it was her experience that was pushing her to understand why I wasn't keen on talking to my husband and my Mom .I feel really grateful for that .

" Okay, Aunty ", I said , pulling out a chair to sit down at the table.

She immediately placed a bowl of steaming noodles in front of me and I dug in feeling rather famished .