Forever And A Day

Thirteen: The Present

I undressed quickly with frantic fingers . I needed to get rid of the dress I was wearing .

It felt like it was burning me . A reminder of what happened at the reception. I'd probably never wear it again . I'll rather go naked than wearing it.

" Do you need help ?", Max spoke up  from behind me .

I paused in my frantic movements .  Of course I forgot to lock the door of my room . How irresponsible of me.

" No ", I said bluntly . I didn't want his hands on me . It would be too intimate .

" I can get the zipper for you if you want  ", he offered .

I turned around to look at him where he stood with his back against the closed door .

" No thank you, I got this ", I said without truly meeting his eyes with my own .

He sighed deeply and folded his arms over his chest .

" Carly _", he began .

I hold up my hand indicating that I don't want to hear more of what he's about to say .

He bit his lip and sighed again .He didn't speak again , watching in silence as I undressed and dressed into more comfortable clothing .

I carefully hung the dress up in my wardrobe then started gathering my things , stashing them back into my suitcases .

I had decided that I'll talk to Max about a  divorce and then I'll leave . I needed to get away  . I didn't want to be here when my parents return .

Once I've done packing I turned to look at him again .

" We should talk ", I said ,not beating around the bush ,so to speak .

He nodded and moved towards me .

We both simultaneously sat down on the bed . His arm brushed against mine . It wasn't intentional , I'm sure ,but it sent tingles up and down my arm . I shifted away from him , ignoring the fall of his face at my actions .

I couldn't care less about that . I had a goal . I couldn't let myself get distracted  from it .

" I want a divorce ", I said without hesitating . I wasn't going to sugar coat it  . He needed to know that I was done with everything . Done with being his little housewife .

He stiffened . A muscle twitched in his cheek . He clenched and unclenched his hands .

" Why ?", he asked , surprising me .

I didn't expect him to ask me why I wanted a divorce . He should know , shouldn't he? . After all he's done .

" You know ", I answered calmly .

He closed his eyes , taking a deep breath . 

" What if I don't want to give you a divorce?", he asked .

I sat up straight , shooting him a glare " I don't care , Max . I want one . I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore . You would've eventually asked me for a divorce if Miranda hadn't died . I'm giving you the opportunity to live your life without me like you had wanted before our marriage ...Look , I don't know why you even married me if you wanted someone else and I will probably never understand it , but don't you want to be free from the person you've wanted to be free from in like forever?".

He shake his head , pinched his nose and took another breath .

" I don't want to be free from you . What will be the use now ?. It's not like she can come back to me ".

I knew who he's talking about . He wasn't going to say her name , but it was there in his voice .

" You'll find someone else.  I won't stand in your way again ".

He jumped to his feet glaring at me viciously .

" No , Carly, damnit !", he shouted ," I said I don't want to be free from you !. Don't you understand ?. I might've loved her more ,but I married you . I chose you . You're the only one left that I actually want to be with . Please , don't you dare leave me " .

His last words were said in a broken voice . He was hurting . I know . Yet , I couldn't find it in me to pity him .

" I'm sorry ,Max . I'm not going to give in . I'm leaving now . We'll be in contact soon . Goodbye ."

With that I stood up , grabbed my suitcases and left the room .

I wasn't going to give into what he wanted.  I was done . For good?. I didn't know . I just wanted to get away for now then I'll think about it .

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                   Max's Pov
I watched my wife leave . What she said broke my heart . I could feel the pieces falling one by one .

I wanted to run after her . Beg her to reconsider, to stay  . I didn't . I understood completely why she was doing this . I only have myself to blame . Besides I couldn't bring myself to move. My body was frozen like she had cast a spell to keep me in place .

I took several deep breaths to calm myself . It didn't help . Not even one bit . I felt worse . Worse than I've ever felt in my entire life .

I love my wife . I do . Yet , I messed up  . Fooling around with Miranda had been a mistake . Even if I loved Miranda too ,I should've probably never had an affair with her .

I looked around the room that once was my Carly's room . I've been here many times when we were kids and also when we became adults .

The  children's toys had long since disapeared . So had her old three quarter bed .

Nothing else changed . My eyes scanned the room while my thoughts ran through my mind and suddenly they caught a very familiar looking book at the bottom of the book shelf .

I walked over to the shelf , bending down to retrieve the book and almost let it fall out of shock . Guilt washed over me like a tidal wave .

I knew which book this was . I had one other just like it . Miranda had gifted it to me for Christmas in my first year of High School . Ironically Carly had given this one to me on that same day and I threw it away . I thought that she would never find out . Guess I was wrong .

Ugh, I've made so many mistakes over the years . It seems karma was finally turning the wheel for me and here I was not being able to dodge it .

I bend down placing the book back on the shelf . I would leave it there for now . What I needed to do at this moment was talk to the kids and get them to pack their things . It was time to go home .

Thing is I don't know if I'll be able to call that house my home without my Carly . I guess I would just have to see . Time would tell ,I suppose .
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Sorry if it's short.