Ink and Prints

Chapter 20: Kind Words

Kind words given
Warms the heart
Kind words said at cold
Freezes the soul

_

     No one really knew, huh? No one bothered to figure things out? What the hell, Luna Selena? You're the one who shunned everyone out in this matter, now you're the one suffering from what's happened. You can be so stupid at times, Luna Selena. How are you the most brilliant student in the history of the university?

     I woke up to my alarm, I set it to 10pm since Lumi and I will have dinner later. I don't exactly know what setup we're about to have, but I think I want him to come over. I just want to spend time with him right now, after all, I can't get Sol, so I want Lumi for now. I want him to be with me, I want to feel his embrace right now, I want to feel his arms wrapped around me, for Lumi feels like home, he gives me the comfort that I wanted, but never asked for. I called Lumi to see if he's traveling now. "Hey, Lumi. Are you driving?" I asked him. "No, Luna, kasama ko si Kuya, he's driving. We met up at Manila kasi and he wants to see Mom, why?" That voice is so calming. "I just wanted to check up on you, Lumi, so what do we do later?" I asked him while trying to hide my depressing demeanor after these events so far. "What di you want to do, moonlight?" He asked me with a reassuring tone. "Can you please just come over? Let's get food delivered, I just wanna stay with you." I feel like crying right now, I don't want to tell him the fact that I just want him right now. I want comfort, I seek comfort. "Okay, noted."

     I just looked at the ceiling after my call ended with Lumi, contemplating on my choices in life. Why do I feel right now that we're all responsible for our own sadness? Why do I feel like we fall into despair because of our own doings, despite us having no notions of repercussions at that time or having no initial motives to be sad. We all just want to be happy, in one way or another, but why do I feel like it's ourselves that are trying to stop that happiness? I hate this feeling, I think he's my happiness right now, but I want him to fulfill the need that I sated earlier, but I can't because of our oath. We really know how to hurt our own soul, eh? How to burn out our own candle of joy.

     I think I want to go outside for now, but it's really cold, huh? I went to my closet to look for a jacket to wear and I saw that same dark blue jacket. "Lumi, huh?" I said to myself out loud, recalling that time. Sometimes, I wish that I shouldn't have developed my emotions and stayed that way forever. That way, I wouldn't feel the despair that I'm feeling right now, I would've just shrugged of the notions that this event brought me. Now, looking at your jacket, my love, makes me wonder the things could have happened if you didn't come to my life. I wouldn't be happier without you, but I wouldn't be as devastated as this for something as simple as no one knowing your birthday, despite shunning everyone out from knowing it. I wore his jacket but somehow felt a hint of comfort. Is this you comforting me right now, Lumi?

     I went outside to get some fresh air. The nights are cold in February, huh? This jacket somehow shuns out the bitter cold that I feel at these hours. I looked at the stars and I wondered how small we are. Oh, Universe, for so long we've tried to figure you out, how vast you are, where you end, what you truly are, but no one can see the entire setup by only seeing through a looking glass that's the size of a single sand. Maybe that's why I feel this way, maybe no one knowing my birthday made me feel like I'm insignificant. Well, it did a good job. What's the point of doing everything I can right now, huh? Oh, Luna.

     My phone rang and to no surprise, Lumi's calling me. "Hey, Luna. Nandito na kami sa Tarlac, uwi lang si kuya sa bahay tapos diretso na ako diyan, okay?" His voice is always as soothing as ever. "Okay, my dear Lumi, ingat ka, ha. I love you so much," I said to him. I don't know why, but I'll never get tired of saying I love you to Lumiere, I know to myself that I mean those words. "Noted, my dear Luna. I love you, too." He hanged the call up and I immediately looked up the night sky. The moon is bright, huh? I always knew that it was beautiful, but I never realized that it was this beautiful, I was named after it after all.