Ink and Prints

Chapter 24: Diamond Tears

We shed tears when words cannot describe
For words are only a few in billions
Though when we cry in the cold rain
It's not that we are out, but it's only because we find

_

     What is the problem with me? I stopped when Celeste said those words. What seems to be the problem, huh? I wondered for days on end, what seems to be the adversity at hand? iI've been stupid for the past few days, ignoring him, ignoring everything, focusing on myself. I know how selfish I've become and how conflicting I've been with myself. I'm self-centered, I know that myself, and I dragged him into my own overthinking thoughts .

      "So may balak ka bang sumagot, Luna?" Annoyance can be detected from Celeste's tone, pair it with her raised eyebrow, she seems really pissed. Though she still retains her demeanor, it is not one who is different from the usual Celeste, but it seems like an amplified, angry version of who she is. "The thing is, Celeste-." I stopped when I realized that I don't know the words that I'm about to utter. "What's up, Luna? Napapansin ko na talaga, and do you think that he doesn't say anything to us? Lumi's my cousin," she is really pissed, but strangely, you can detect the genuine care in her voice. "Celeste, kumalma ka," Prince gently said to her in order to apprehend her. "Kalmado ako, Prince. There's no reason for me to be angry at anything." Celeste wasn't really angry, she just seemed pissed.

     "I've been avoiding Lumi for the past few days b-because-," I stuttered, I can't continue what I was about to say. "Because?" Celeste emanated a wondering gesture. "Because." It feels like I'm dragging this on for too long, but it's only because I don't have anything to say, I feel greatly pressured. I just looked at Celeste in the eye. Her brow was raised again, waiting for me to say anything. "Come on, Luna. We'll take forever here!" She lightly screamed because she became a bit impatient. I can't blame her anyway.

     "I feel like I don't love Lumi." Celeste's raised eyebrow turned into a crunched eyebrow expression. "Huh?" Celeste said as if she didn't hear anything. "Feel ko hindi ko mahal si Lumi," I said in a soft tone and I immediately looked at the floor. "Okay ka lang ba, Luna?" She said sarcastically. "What do you mean?" She looked at me and raised her eyebrow once more. "Kasi, Celeste, he only wants the best for me, while I haven't been good to him on any way." Celeste looks even more weirded out then before. "And?" She asked me. "And I feel like that's not love, if you love someone, you'll really want the best for them," I said to her while holding my tears back. "Have you talked to anyone about this? Carmela? Sol?" She shifted to a more neutral tone. "Ayaw ko sila guluhin sa cruise nila." I looked down the floor once more. "Pero you've talked to someone, right?" She went closer to me. "Yeah, Addi and Prince," I simply replied. "What advice did they give you?" She asked me. "That it's on me to decide," I answered her in a blank tone.

"Prince Lyon Dela Vega! Nase-stress ako sa 'yo! Dito ka nga, dito!" Celeste angrily called Prince. "Ikaw lalake ka, ha. Magbigay ka na lang ng advice wala pang kwenta." She lightly punched him. "Pinapagulo niyo lalo buhay ni Luna, e. Nakakastreess kayo!" She mildly shouted at him. "At ikaw, babae ka!" Oh no. "Anong pinagda-drama mong hindi mo mahal si Lumiere, ha? Halatang-halata na mahal mo siya. Gaga ka ba? Nagkakaganiyan ka right now dahil sa kaniya tapos hindi mo siya mahal, ha?" Celeste said in an angry but concerned tone. "But, Celeste, I was being-." She interrupted me. "Who cares, Luna? Love is different for everybody, and ganito mo pinapakita sa 'yo! Ano bang mali doon, ha? Don't you ever doubt your own actions because everybody does things differently. Tanga ka ba? Alam mo na ngang iba-iba tayong tao tapos pati ganiyang bagay pareho para sa 'yo?" She's right, I really do love him, I know that, and that's the only thing that matters. "Naku po, Luna Selena. Sobrang talino mo, ikaw ata pinakamatalinong tao dito sa Pilipinas tapos ganiyan lang. Nase-stress ako sa 'yo! Balikan nga natin si Lumi doon!" She held my hand and we walked back to the party area.