Starlet's Web - #1 {Exclusive Read}

Starlet's Web - Uaries - SUBTEXT

~    SUBTEXT

After Evan was gone, I texted Manuel and searched my contact list to see if there was anyone else I could reach out to. There wasn’t. I texted my step-mom, Celia, anyway, knowing that she would be asleep.

When I heard Manuel’s ringtone, I was on my bed hugging my beloved stuffed-horse, thinking about how my room was still decorated for a childish teenager. I had a poster bed with silly lights strung around it. I had the lavender chandelier and hot pink pillows that were an absolute must-have when I turned fourteen. I hadn’t changed anything because I liked my life before I started acting and wanted to remember what it felt like to have no worries and know that I was unconditionally loved.

“I just got your text.” Manuel worried, “Are you okay?”

“No. I hate my life. Evan and I have to sacrifice our relationship because the public thinks my life is too good and easy. What is this? Exploitation number ten in my five years of acting hell?”

“At least. Listen, I have to bike with Beth but will be there in five minutes.”

 * * * * *

Beth and Manuel dated their sophomore year and remained great friends after their breakup. They had a connection much like he and I had but their relationship was more competitive. When Beth dated Mitch, the school’s popular and athletic valedictorian, their friendship deepened into a platonic one.

Kate, Manuel’s ex-girlfriend and my ex-best friend, used to complain to me about their friendship but I didn’t see evidence of romantic feelings between them. I figured Kate was jealous that Beth transformed from being the big girl to having the most beautiful body in the school. Since Beth and Manuel shared the same interests in sports, they biked, swam, and ran together outdoors.

I scanned the only photo I had in my room, concentrating to focus my blurred vision. The photo captured Mom, Grandma May and me on my fifteenth birthday at her ranch in Montana.

Grandma looked like a female version of Dad. Dad was, and still is, ruggedly good-looking, with his Native American dark hair he keeps buzzed, high cheekbones, striking amber-green eyes that complement his bronze skin, and a tall, muscular body.  Mom always reflected on that first moment she saw him—she said that his eyes penetrated her soul.  According to Grandma, I have Dad’s eyes and spirit.

Mom contrasted Grandma with large blue-green eyes, thin eyebrows, long eyelashes, large lips, smooth pale skin, and thick auburn hair. I resembled both of them and neither one. Mostly, I looked tired in the photo because I just wrapped The Beautiful Outcast, a movie about Virginia Woolf’s difficulty dealing with her mother’s sudden death when she was thirteen and her mental collapse after the death of her father.

I visited Grandma at her ranch after our wrap party because I was so depressed after making that movie. I stayed for over two months and did all my schoolwork online. I rode my horse every day and learned how to fly a plane. I escaped public scrutiny. I learned to ignore tweets and never check Facebook. I was complete that summer.

While I waited for Manuel outside I thought about my recent award-winning performance for Jefferson’s Muse. I did a good job with the script and with emoting. I nailed the character. Mom and her producer buddies created the character for me: a ‘not really black but not white’ slave.

 * * * * *

Seeing Manuel approach on his bicycle made my body sparkle from the inside out and diminished my sullenness. Manuel was tall, like his Latino father, and muscular. I never asked his specs, but I figured he was 6’1” and 185 pounds. He had high cheekbones, perfect lips, a thin, straight nose, short black hair, and creamy skin like that of cappuccino ice cream—his skin was not white but not dark either. He was lighter than me. His eyes were his most attractive feature, with impossibly long, black eyelashes veiling his rich coffee-colored eyes. The color of his iris was light enough to express all of his emotions to me with one glance but dark enough to hide those same emotions from strangers. I loved being one of the people who held the key to unlock all of his thoughts when I peeked into his soul.