Starlet's Web - #1 {Exclusive Read}

Starlet's Web - March - THE DRESS

~    THE DRESS

Before I did my hair, I checked out my prom dress.

Sage left a note on the outside of the garment bag, “Darling, you will look stunning as you always do. I thought this would be the most prom-like of your dresses and had it altered so you can laugh and dance and move freely. You shouldn’t need to be taped and should be able to just slip it on easily! Enjoy your night! Love you!”

I laughed. Event dresses were impossible to get into and difficult to move in. It was a painful few hours. Sitting in the limo prior to the red carpet was pure torture. Walking gracefully in heels was nerve racking and required my complete focus. Posing for the cameras was embarrassing, and my mind was always on guard to make sure I didn’t show any pain or nerves. I even tried to blink quickly so some weirdo picture didn’t get published with my eyes closed and mouth frowning from the pain of not being able to breathe. 

I opened the garment bag, and my heart sank. I became acutely aware of my headache. I hated the dress. It couldn’t be my prom dress. I was sure I included it in the list to be donated to the tsunami relief auction. To me, it symbolized the destruction of my family and the consequential isolation I felt since my parents divorced.

It was the dress I wore to my first Academy Awards when I was fourteen.  I was nominated, but didn’t win, for my performance in my first film, Left to Die.  It was the project over which Dad divorced Mom. It was the film for which Mom won Best Actress and reinvigorated her A-list career. It was the launch of my career. It was the first time I got drunk at an industry event. It was my first kiss.

No. I would not wear the dress. I pushed it back inside the garment bag and carried it into the garage. I threw it in the back of my Prius. I’d get rid of it later. I stopped in the kitchen and took two more Excedrins with water and ate an apple. I washed my hands and then tried to rub out the back of my neck. It throbbed and my vision blurred. I tried to relax and sat in the chair at the kitchen counter for I don’t know how long with my eyes closed until I felt the pain subside. I headed back to my room when my vision cleared.

I found a comfortable dark purple jersey cocktail dress in my closet. It was no prom dress but I’d look great with some simple Spanx under it, and I could move freely. I decided to wear my hair up.

We were going to prom with Alan and his date who was thankfully not Sherry, Mitch and Beth, and a group of dateless friends of ours that hung out with us at school.

Mitch had an intensity and maturity that I had only seen in a few people. He had a great, supportive family, too. His parents were high school sweethearts that were still married—an anomaly in Santa Monica. His sister was also the valedictorian of her graduating high school class and attended Georgetown University. She was one of those everything girls: a gorgeous blond with an attractive body, performed on the dance group during half-time, was social and kind, had good friends, and managed to get perfect grades in honors and AP classes. She was thriving at Georgetown, too.

Mitch and I dated twice and had a wonderful time. We were going to go to the junior prom together in April last year, the Saturday after my seventeenth birthday, but I canceled because Manuel complicated things. The three guys had agreed to triple date, just like they did this year. Alan invited some girl who ended up being a bitch, of course. Manuel was going with Kate. Mitch hadn’t asked anyone yet. I was incredibly busy that spring filming Jefferson’s Muse, but we were in L.A. on set in front of the green screen. I commuted from my house to the set. I was not going to school and was doing my work through the studio teacher and independent study, but I saw my friends on the weekends. On a day in March when I didn’t have to go to work, I sat with Mitch as I studied in the high school library. We were at the same table, but were not chatting. He slipped me a note, asking me to prom. Delighted, I accepted.

If Manuel and I had not been friends since preschool, it would have been so nice to date Mitch. Manuel said dating Mitch would bust up their friendship because he’d punch out Mitch’s face if anything happened to me. I felt I had to choose between Manuel’s friendship with his weird sense of brotherly protection and a budding romance with Mitch. I wanted both but I was also so busy working. At work, I was kissing two guys on camera, Matthew and Grant, which was confusing off set, too. The month before, Evan and I kissed during the Romeo & Juliet worldwide premiere and slept in the same bed together several nights during the tour. We were both working on films but emailed and Skyped. I hoped Evan would be my boyfriend but thought it’d be silly to take him to my junior prom. The timing of my relationship with Mitch was just wrong. I decided I didn’t want to complicate my life and chose to break off the date to prom. I told him the truth. He appreciated that it wasn’t about him. Fortunately, Mitch had time to ask Beth to prom and they dated ever since.