Need you | Miles Fairchild

16. not my day...

I am furious. Completely, undeniably furious. Rebecca keeps inserting herself into my life like she owns it, and Luke won't back off no matter how many hints I drop. Between the two of them, I feel like I can't breathe without someone watching, judging, or trying to interfere. If this keeps going, I swear I'm going to put them both in their place. I'm done being polite.

What bothers me most, though—what keeps replaying in my head—is Miles. The way he acted around Rebecca this morning was... strange. Too polite. Too nervous. Watching him smile at her and scratch the back of his neck made something ugly twist in my stomach. I don't want to doubt him, but I can't ignore how off it felt either. Still, what am I supposed to say? That's Miles. Charming, awkward, and sometimes completely oblivious.

"Hey, wait up!" I hear someone call behind me.

I turn to see Alice jogging toward me, her bag slung over one shoulder, concern written all over her face.

"Hey, Al," I say, trying to sound normal.

She slows to a stop beside me. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Fine. Totally fine," I sigh, staring straight ahead instead of at her.

She studies me for a moment, clearly not buying it. "Look," she says carefully, "I know Luke and Rebecca are getting to you. Anyone would be annoyed. But if Miles wants to go to that party, you should let him."

I stop walking and turn to face her. "Excuse me?"

Alice crosses her arms. "Honestly, y/n, you're acting like his mother. And it's starting to annoy me."

That one hurts more than I expect. Before I can say anything, she turns and walks off, leaving me standing there with my mouth slightly open.

Ugh. Seriously? Is anyone on my side today or what?

I shove my hands into my pockets and head toward the cafeteria, my chest tight with frustration. I barely make it inside before I hear Miles call my name.

"Y/n!"

I turn around slowly. "Yeah?"

He walks over, his eyebrows pulled together. "You seem really down today. What's up?"

I laugh bitterly. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe have a think about it, Miles. Then come back to me and we'll talk."

His expression falls, clearly confused, but I don't wait around for him to respond. I grab my bag and turn away, my emotions bubbling over. I don't even care that it's not the end of the school day—I can't stand another second in this place. The noise, the people, the stares... it's all too much.

The walk home feels longer than usual, my thoughts spiralling the entire way. By the time I step through the front door, I'm exhausted.

"You're home early," Kate says from the kitchen.

"Oh yeah, didn't notice," I muttered, slamming the door behind me and trudging across the room. My backpack thudded to the floor, and I collapsed onto my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Everything from the day seemed to pile onto me all at once—the teasing looks from Rebecca, Luke acting all friendly when I clearly didn't want him to be, and even Miles... that strange, distant smile he'd given Rebecca this morning. My chest felt tight, like someone had tied a cord around it and was slowly pulling it tighter.

I let out a frustrated groan, tugging the doona over my head. "Why does everything have to be so complicated?" I muttered to myself. My fingers dug into the soft blanket as I thought about Alice's words. She was probably right; I had been acting like Miles' parent rather than his girlfriend. But could I really just ignore the way Luke hovered around me and how Rebecca always seemed to be lurking, waiting for a chance to insert herself into Miles' life? I couldn't. And yet, I hated that I had to deal with it.

I rolled onto my side, propping my head on my arm, letting my thoughts spin uncontrollably. I could hear Kate in the kitchen, probably chatting with Rose, laughing about something mundane, oblivious to the storm raging inside me. I hated that I felt so cut off, so completely overwhelmed. Even Alice—usually my anchor in these situations—had left me earlier, telling me to "let Miles make his own decisions" as if it were that simple. I wanted to tell her that it wasn't just about him going to a party or talking to someone else; it was about the constant tension, the gnawing anxiety that made my stomach twist every time I saw Rebecca or Luke.

I sat up abruptly, my heart pounding. Maybe walking away from school earlier had been the right call. I didn't need to stay there and let the tension build until I snapped. But the thought of Miles waiting at school, possibly confused by my sudden departure, made me flinch. I wanted to run back and explain, to tell him everything that was swirling in my head, but the words wouldn't come.

I kicked my feet onto the floor, burying my face in my hands. My emotions felt impossible to control—one moment anger, one moment fear, and then a surge of guilt for even feeling any of it. I hated being so emotional. I hated that I kept letting these people get to me. And yet, I couldn't stop. It wasn't just a bad day; it felt like the culmination of weeks of stress, jealousy, and confusion, all wrapped up in a tight knot inside me.

A sigh escaped me as I leaned back against the headboard. Maybe part of the problem was that I couldn't share these feelings. I couldn't tell Alice everything about what had happened between me and Miles without worrying about what she might say. I couldn't even talk to Miles about it without risking him thinking I was overreacting or being controlling. So I stayed silent, letting it fester.

I glanced at my phone, half-expecting a message from Miles, but it was blank. No text, no missed call. That only made the anxiety worse. My mind immediately jumped to worst-case scenarios: what if he misunderstood my walkout? What if Rebecca somehow managed to get under his skin? What if Luke... I pushed that thought away, unwilling to give him that much power over me.

I pulled my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly. "Why is everything so exhausting?" I whispered to myself. My hands traced the edges of my bedspread as if it could ground me, pull me back from the whirlwind of my thoughts. Slowly, I felt a tight knot in my stomach loosen, though only a little.

Maybe what I needed most was a plan, some sort of control over the chaos. I knew I couldn't change Luke or Rebecca, and I couldn't control Miles' actions. But I could control me. I could choose my responses, my boundaries, and how much I let other people dictate my mood.

I lay back, taking a deep breath, finally letting some of the tension release from my shoulders. Tomorrow would come, and I would face school again, with Rebecca, Luke, and the complicated feelings swirling around Miles. But tonight, at least, I could try to calm my storm inside and remind myself that I wasn't powerless.

I closed my eyes, clutching the doona tighter, and whispered quietly to myself, "I've got this. I can handle this. I will handle this."