Unrealistic future「Mikasa x reader」✔

10.

|||Y/n L/n|||

....Wait what?

Mind didn't believed that she said things like that. I thought I was understanding something wrong.

It was totally irrelevant what my mind was against. I couldn't believe those words. Was she trying to break my heart even deeper?

"I think I quietly didn't understand, I'm sorry what did you say?" I asked with slight unbelieving. She looked at me with her grey steel eyes. They pierced through me like the betrayal of a knife. They looked so deep. I didn't knew if I should set in those words my belief. "Please repeat it, this time in slow."

"I kissed your forehead while you were asleep." she repeated. "And— I long to kiss your lips." I first didn't even wanted to believe it had a reason. Later on I asked myself why it went like this.

My eyes started sliding of from Mikasa. I stared at the wall, everything was getting these days so complicated. It was feeling strange to me that I should tell myself there was no reason for the kiss. I sighed, my heartbeat slowed down.

I didn't knew what to do nor how to really react in such a situation. I mean it was something that wouldn't happen all day. Expecially when it came to me.

I looked down, "that doesn't mean anything, right?" I asked her. I knew that it didn't meant anything. Though I knew it still hurted. I wanted a reason why she did it. Just to calm my conscience.

Sounds stupid, I know right.

"That's the thing," Mikasa started whispering. I saw how Mikasa's hair was hanging down. Her shirt had wrinkles in it. She had a aura around her that wasn't feeling nice while being around.

"I don't know what it means, I'm confused.. it was a.." she trailed off. Her voice sounded so lost, it hurted listening to her voice. If I had the choice I would do anything to let her stop sounding like this. I had a bad feeling at it. The sadness that bottled up in me. I closed my eyes, "instinct." I ended her sentence. I looked up opening my e/c eyes.

As our eyes met there was some kind of a sudden connection. My heart beat got incredible high at that moment. I just wanted to shut it down. I wanted to grab and let it stop overreacting over this. 

"Do you want to clear it..?" I asked her. She looked at me with a look I didn't understood at all. I hadn't a clue what was happening between us two. Our eyes connected for seconds again intensely.

What happened in the next moment was shocking me.

Mikasa kissed me, I didn't knew how to react. Our lips connected with a feeling of passion. I gave the favor back to her. I kissed her back though I was constantly confused. It felt so right at the same time so wrong.

I exhaled after the depth of the kiss. Mikasa starred at me as if there was something she did wrong.

"That's wrong... I- Eren." she stuttered. I felt how my heart started feeling heavy. I knew it was getting her into trouble and a useless drama. A drama both of us started with this kiss. I already had this feeling like most times something bad would happen.

"Mikasa.. it's not that easy." I admitted. My voice was quiet I fixated my eyes on the ground. I wanted to cry out loud that I couldn't stand it that Eren was so close to her in such a way. "I don't want to complicate it unnecessary. However this complicates it surely in many ways."

"Y/n."

"Mikasa." I stayed stoical with my eyes. I was fixated on her eyes, I didn't gave in.

My heart started beating. I was about to say something I was afraid of for so long. I had the courage to say the words I wanted to tell her for so long.
"I like you." with this I confessed to her.

"Give me time to decide what this means for me."

∭

Some days went by since the kiss we shared. At the moment Armin was sitting beside me. We were watching our favorite movie. At all it was still so exciting, nerve tickling and interesting. I loved it just like the others did.

I watched how close Eren was to Mikasa. This was torture, I hated this PDA over everything. Had just been might the fact I hated bring a coward.  It was giving me pain, I got pissed off. I hated this I just should have stopped glancing over to them. Once again I didn't listened to my inner voice and started regretting it. Out of my eyesight I could see how Mikasa gave me a small look. Her eyes were full of one emotion that I called guilt.

I didn't know why it was pissing me off. I fixated my eyes again on the TV. I sat down in front of the couch in a  criss crossed position.

When life decided to take these turns it's mostly total confusion. That wasn't the right word to describe it with.