My mind....sick, twisted, dark and full of information. A room where I don't feel safe. The only place I continuously want to leave. One filled with loving memories overshadowed by life's greatest monsters. Aniexntiy. Body dysmorphia. When you go, the thoughts behind the experience can be peaceful only if it was that easy only if other people's words and judgements didn't leave as deep of a gash. Maybe then our conversations wouldn't have to reply in my head. Yes, I'm introverted, but is it so wrong to want to talk to people too? Do I lose the right to a conversation with him because I'm not you? Maybe its because I'm not fake. Maybe its because I save my personality for those who earn the right to know me honestly. Or perhaps his nicest is simply what helps me keep going without losing my mind. Of course, my mind is not always this way. It's usually filled with random facts from tv shows or funny things I talk about with my friends. But even on my darkest days, thinking of these little interactions which you are maybe doing to be nice affect me more than you know. Especially being around so many people, my mind tends to wander, usually circling the topic of my body being in no way perfect and how the numbers that line my uniform are the reason for criticism. Maybe it's just him, his social status way above my own. But at this rate, I'll never actually know.
But this is just my mind.
Anonymous
